Grrrr

Well, last week was a bust! I had two great days of staying on track with my food and then, I don't know what happened. I had soda, crap food, and minimal vegetables. Needless to say, I feel like crap actually. I feel heavy and my system feels like it needs a clean out or something.

I joined sparkpeople on suggestion from a couple of friends, but one friend blogged about the blackberry application and I was sold. I have been looking for an app for my blackberry where I could track my water intake and fitness, but it also does calories. It is pretty awesome! As soon as I joined I committed to make today a better day. So, I am following the meals. I already went grocery shopping and the meal plans are on the fridge. I am looking forward to some of the meals, they are things that I like and just haven't eaten in a while. It should be good.

As far as my workouts are going, I had a bit of a scare on Friday. I was in the middle of my workout, mid-pull on the row machine and I felt a 'pop' in my head on the left side. As soon as that happened I had a HUGE migraine and blurred vision. I have NEVER had anything like this happen to me before and I have been lifting for over 15 years. I got the kids from the nursery and went to the car to call my hubby. I was freaked out. Jeff came to the YMCA to check on me and make sure I was ok. I didn't want to rush to the hospital, I wanted to feel it out. He gave me some Motrin and I just kept on drinking water. My vision came back so I decided I could drive home and if I started to get worse I would just call Jeff at work or 911 depending on how I felt. Luckily, I started feeling better during the day. I'm a bit hesitant to get back to lifting, so I think I am going to focus on my cardio for a bit.

Last week I started running a little on my walks and so I am going to start incorporating more running. Along with running I am going to do some videos at home.

Vacation is a month away and I am so far from where I want to be, but I know I don't want to be here when we go either. I just need to keep trekking forward. My goal is to get out of these size 18 pants and into 16. that will open up a lot more wardrobe options for me as well.

Watching what I Eat

This week starts strict dieting. Jeff and I are doing South Beach Diet together. 2 weeks without carbs and then only whole grain after that with a few low sugar fruits re-introduced.

My workouts are going great. My muscles are sore but it is a good sore. I am keeping really active and hope to see some weight loss this week with a my diet change.

I haven't lost any weight. In fact I'm pretty sure I have gained. Today I weighed in at 214. boo considering I was at 210 a few weeks ago and I wanted to be at 202 by this week according to my goals set right after having Carmen.

I can't change the past only the future. I am striving to be better everyday.

Life

Life with two little ones is so crazy. There is so much I want to journal about but I just don't have the time.

I am doing The New Rules of Lifting. After I had Micah I did The New Rules of Lifting for Women. I am liking the original it is very similar to the women's version. I am expecting to see some great results at the end of phase 1. When I did the women's version I saw GREAT results. I am going to finish the whole thing this time though. I didn't last time. ok that's all I have time for Carmen's up.

Recommited

Yesterday started my new workout program. The first phase will last between 4 and 5 weeks. Two days down and I am super sore but super energized! I have cut the soda cold turkey and I'm only 2 days clean, but usually when I quit soda cold turkey I don't crave it again, unless I taste it again. I am watching my calories and staying between 1400-1600 calories a day.

I am re-motivated and feeling good and enjoying the good food that is so good for my body. I am really into green salads right now. When I say 'green' I mean green!

Fresh cut romaine lettus, cucumbers, avocado, green onions, spinach, green olives(sometimes), and my one non-green ingredient mushrooms. All that topped with homemade ranch dressing (the only kind of ranch I like).

kids are all crying so I will finish this post later.

Not so Great

So, let me be honest I have not been good with my diet and my weight loss has come to a complete halt. I haven't gained, but certainly I need to be losing and I have everything on my side, breastfeeding, working out, sleeping again. So, I really need to get motivated about eating better. It's the soda! I am totally addicted to Mtn. Dew. I love it, LOVE it. I have quit it many times before, but one taste and I get hooked again. It is a total addiction.

Our family vacation is coming up super fast in June and I am already behind in my goal.

On a positive note, I have been going to the gym and strength training, swimming, and walking and all that is going well.

I really need to lose some weight so I can fit into more clothes. I only have a hand full of outfits right now and most of them are my smaller maternity clothes. I want to be out of the maternity stuff completely and into my bigger sized by the vacation.

I need to get off the soda and back on water to help in the weight loss, and energy. I was feeling so great when I was on ONLY water and it is so hard to get back to that. My mind is so weak, that is what it comes down to. All I can see right now is all the things I need to fix, or work on. I feel like I am so far from where I want to be with myself, in all areas of my life.

Feeling Good

Yesterday was my first day back to the gym. I did weights and then intervals on the treadmill.

Today, I swam for 30 minutes.

I am tired but feel good. I am looking forward to enjoying each day and each workout. I know I will lose the weight but I am going to focus on having great workouts and feeling good because that is most important. I have a while to get back to where I was endurance wise but I know it will come back and hopefully surpass what I could imagine.

Going for a walk with the kids now and going to try and put in 3 miles( about an hour) with a park break.

Scared

I have been gone from the gym so long that I am scared. I realized this today.

My doctor's appointment is Monday and I will push through the fear.

Maybe screaming helps?!