Where did my Motivation go?

I was on such a roll and then life comes in and sidetracks me and now I have no drive to get back on the horse. I was doing so well too! I am feeling hugely disappointed in what I have done while Jeff is gone and I know it is wrong to think this way, but it's true. I know I can make a major dent still if I get up and 'just do it'. But that's just it I HAVE TO DO IT. I love working out, I love running, I really do, but I don't like the cleanup. I can't do anything else in my day until I clean up. Anyway I am complaining instead of acting!

I will dust myself off and start again, because that's what we do. We try, try again! That is what is important, that we try again.

I miss my husband!!!

Off Track

Well, my best friends awesomely amazing baby shower took over every spare second of my life until now. It was last Saturday and I spent all this week getting my house back together and my son in school. Now I feel like I can refocus on losing some more weight and see how far I can get before Jeff gets home. Yes we are on like the 70 day count down to his return. Somewhere close to that anyway!! I am excited to see him and have him back, but at the same time I am feeling majorly disappointed in myself for all the things I have not done yet. Like I am seriously behind in my weight loss, I haven't saved as much money as I was hoping to, and I guess these are the two issues that always bug me! Why can't I be happy with what I have done, and why do I make these goals that I always seem to not meet. I make progress, but I don't meet the goal. Then I get frustrated by that. Then I hear others that have lost like 60 lbs in the time the guys have been gone and I think, what the hell is wrong with me, why can't I stay focused and get it together?!? Ultimately I just want to make myself and my husband proud of me.


I never started Insanity like I was planning to do. I am scared of it to tell you the truth! I am going to muster up the courage and do it though. I really really need to do it!

Ok, pitty party over. Let's get back to it!!!

Ha Ha Ha

So, this is what I get for trying to get back on the goal setting train. A complete and utter buck off.

I have not done one thing on the list

I am completely consumed by my best friends baby shower and redecorating my home. I have to get reorganized while I have the reorganization bug. I am getting things finished that have been sitting in my garage for over 6 months and I am playing with my kids before school starts in a week.

I'm not sad at all for not doing what I said I would do because I have been making great use of my time, just not doing what I said I would.

Life is funny, I'm just part of this funny life.....

Enjoy the ride, I sure am!!!

Let's Get Back in the Game!!

Alright, I am ready to set some goals for the week and get the ball rolling again.

I feel confident in my ability to achieve goals lately and I want to get the ball going just a bit faster.

1- I will run/walk outside with the kids 4 times this week. 2+ miles each time
2- I will start INSANITY and complete each days workout
3- I will make my meals and be ok eating at home this week.
4- I will get that stupid table painted this week!

I am looking forward to doing Insanity! I start it tomorrow Sunday August 14, 2011 and will end my 60 days October 14, 2011. I'm sure I will take progress pictures. I won't post those until the end though ;)

I am not going to add this to my goals, but I want to get in the habit of blogging each day again. Also, I want to get more meaningful posts out there. I am still struggling with alot of things, but one thing is for sure I am actually losing weight now! I like where I am going and who I am becoming.

Who are you? Do you like who you are becoming?

Down down down

That is my weight, not my mood ;) Finally! Weigh in this morning 203; down another 1. 16 total since May 1st.

Weight and finding your own balance is such a challenge because it is different for everyone. We all have different triggers. We all have foods that we really don't want to cut out. For me it was all about adding in veggies! That was the thing that really did it for me. I added steamed carrots, tomato, and cucumber to my morning eggs. I added a salad to lunch and dinner. Those changes help me get full on veggies and not purge on the other stuff. Eating this way also helps my mind WANT to do better and make better choices. It is the upward spiral instead of the downward spiral that I get caught up in so often.

I am still having sweets when I crave them, but I am not binging on them and I am pretty sure that is because I haven't made them off limits. I also have a soda once in a while, but I don't need one everyday at all. I have pretty much cut back on all processed kinds of foods. I am eating more whole which is what I believe in and I am making my food taste good by adding butter or oil when needed. I want to enjoy my food while I lose weight!

I have a long way to go still, but if getting to a certain number means I have to cut way back then I probably won't make it because that just starts the up and down spiral again. I want balance! I want to be happy in every stage of this journey, not just at my end result!

Here is to balance and finding what works for you! Hope you are finding your path to ultimate joy!!

Emotional Roller Coaster

This week I said goodbye to my family and had to watch my kids cry because we were leaving them too.

We came home to an empty house and my son asking where Daddy is.

Grumpy people who work as customer service people that don't want to help or do their job is getting me worried about if I am going to get to school this fall. Long story-It is my fault, but it could be resolved if they wanted to help me :(

I miss my husband very very much!

My daughter is in 18 month old, I want to communicate, but can't mode and this is the most frustrating stage for me.

Did I mention I miss my husband?! ok

Why is it I had so much hope and excitement when I was with my family and as soon as I get home it is like the life is sucked out of me. RIDICULOUS!

Diet is on, so that is good. Workouts are going, so that is also good.

Another postitive, I came home to a whole new selection of clothes to chose from because of my 15 lbs weight loss so far. Here is to the next 15 lbs and the next and the next..............

Ahhh life, isn't it fun?!

What crazy things are going on in your world?

Running

I am so excited. I went for a 3 mile run today and it felt great. I am so excited I ran almost the whole time and I kept up a great pace. My overall pace was 13:13. The last mile is straight up hill! It is killer and I had to walk it. I could barely walk it, lets be honest I wanted to quit walking up it because I was so tired and it was so exhausting. Getting that done felt amazing though when it was all said and done.

If I can keep this up I will be so ready to run with Jeff anytime he wants me to go. The next big challenge for me is running with my kids in the jogger. When I run with them it adds 60 lbs. Granted I'm pushing it on wheels, but it is still very difficult for me. I will get there though! I am so excited too!!!

Life is stressful, but I am still reaching my exercise goals and I love it.

Ok, so a great thing happened today. I went to a regular clothing store looking for a gift and while looking I found a cute outfit that was on super clearance. I thought maybe I should go try it on and see where I am at. I put on the shorts and they went up without a problem and buttoned fine! holy cow! Now the shirt, a button up shirt no less. I turned from the mirror and put the shirt on and buttoned it up and HOLY COW HOLY COW HOLY COW, no gaping, fits great.

I am officially back in regular stores!! Granted it is still a size 16, but I am doing it. Progress is progress.

Stay fabulous people! Life is great even with all the crazy going on around us.