Fed Up with MYSELF

Today was a realization for myself. Jeff said something to me the other day that I haven't been able to shake.
He asked me why I give up so easily. I thought and thought and I replied to him that I didn't know.
The question really started to get my head spinning though. I started to think about everything, and I do give up. Easy, Hard, It doesn't matter the task, if I can't do it within the time I think it should be done, I simply stop doing it and give up.
This infuriates me!
How could I do this to myself?

MY Resolution to MYSELF is to follow through.
Life is about self discipline. I have always known that, but how can I master self discipline if I give up?

The first thing I am going to do is finally do what I belive in. That is healthy eating and holistic living. I have always been a bit 'granola' in my glamours kind of way, but I really want to learn for myself and live a healthy lifestyle. It is something that I have always wanted so why have I continued to push it aside?

FEAR.........FEAR is my problem!
Fear of failing, succeeding, embarrassment, anything. I have been floating along acting like I know what I am doing, but really not doing it at all.

I went to the gym today and worked out hard. Harder than I have in a long time. It felt great! And each workout should be that way. I have to pay for a gym membership, I should at least repay my husband with having a healthy and fit body

SORE

I am so sore. I have NEVER been this sore. Then again I have NEVER been this out of shape. I can never go back to doing nothing. It hurts to much to start back up. My boody is feeling the shock for sure. I am excited to get to a better place with my body.

Weight: 206 (down 4 lbs!)

I hope to be under 200 by January. January will be my big kick off month. I will post pictures (YICKES) soon. I want to be real with myself and pictures are very real.

New Gym, New Me

I have joined a new gym and I am really excited. I have a new mantra and it is to take each day at a time. Not to look backwards or forwards, but what I can do today, now! It is a lot harder than it sounds. I am trying to overcome my procrastination and to get rid of my clutter. Clutter in my mind, body, spirit, home, and life.

Goals for today:

Go to the gym and make it worthwhile.
Drink my water
organize the upstairs
hang items in the front room

Stats for today:
weight: 207
feeling: awake, but sore everywhere

I have been so busy I am not keeping up with this daily like I wanted to. But I will keep trying. I have made it to the gym everyday this week and I am really tired. I only had one bad day for my diet and that was today. I had two, yes 2, Krispy Kreme donuts, YUM! But in all honesty they weren't that great. I think I can live without donuts. Not my cheat of choice anymore. If I am going to splurge I need to really enjoy it and make it worth the pain and agony on the road or in the gym. Does that make any sense?

I need to work on my water intake. That is my goal today. I am not drinking enough water. I did really good last week, but this week I have struggled.

Anyhow Lots to do. I have to go for now!

Welcome

I started this blog for me. It is where I will be tracking and posting all of my goals and achievements. Some things may overlap from the family blog, but this blog will be just about me. It will be my visual of where I have been and help to where I am going. So ON WITH THE SHOW!

GOALS:

1) Get into a size 8 pant
2) Participate in a Triathlon
3) Work everyday on being a good wife and mom.
4) Strengthen my testimony/spirituality in every aspect.
5) Get back to school
6) Always have a book to read

ACTION:
1) I am currently eating 1200 to 1500 calories a day. Eating clean and healthy foods. I try to eat 6 servings of fresh fruits/vegetables a day. I work on drinking 96 oz of water each day. Micah and I walk in the mornings for an hour. I work with weights and a trainer at the gym twice a week. I get Pilates in at least once a week.

2) Goal two will really start once I lose some weight, get to Utah, and move away from Albany.

3) I am working on my daily routine right now. I have been successful at going to bed with a clean kitchen for 3 weeks in a row!!! I cook and prepare all meals. I attend to Micah's needs. I play and interact with Micah.

4) Read my scriptures daily. This goal is my nemisis. I do good for a while and then I get out of the habit. So I am starting again.

5) Can't do this one until we move.

6) I am reading the final Harry Potter right now.

Feel free to leave comments and check in from time to time. Enjoy!