Seriously! Here it is the end of January and I am no closer to any of my goals than I was 6 months ago. I can't stick to anything I say I'm going to do for longer than a week. I know what I am suppose to do, I know what I want to do, but I'm not doing it. HELP! I'm thinking about getting psychological help at this point because I can't keep going like this. There are a million and one excuses I could give myself, but there are many people out there in the same or worse situation and they don't give up on themselves. Yes, I am stronger and yes my clothes fit better, but I don't want fit better, I want loose! Like so loose I have to get rid of them. Like Goodbye forever!
My problem comes down to consistency. If anything changes in my schedule it throws me off and I have a really rough time getting back on track, or even finding a new track for that matter.
I feel like my two biggest hurdles are 1- consistency and 2-childcare. Last week I had to wait anywhere from 20 min to an hour just to get baby girl into the childcare room, then I could go workout. The weather here is starting to warm up and when it does then I will be outside with her and I don't have to worry about childcare, but I wanted to be well on my way to my goal before it warmed up!!!
My poor husband doesn't know what to do for me because when he tries to help I get defensive and bite his head off. So he just takes a backseat and helps when he can. Plus, he is preparing to leave soon so he has alot on his own plate right now. I am feeling so stuck right now. Stuck at my weight, stuck in my life, stuck....I am happy with my life, but not fully satisfied if that makes any sense at all. The only person who can change that is myself. I right now I'm not a very good representative of the life that I want to teach others to have. That of health and fitness.
On top of all this I am extremely home sick. I miss my family so much! I hate living a whole world away from them. Especially right now while I am going through so much. I have amazing friends around me don't get me wrong, but family is forever and mine really feels the same and we help each other out so much.
See I'm a wreck! Ok, sob story over.....The point is I need something, someone, I need help.............
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Positive Thinking!
Begin saying positive things about yourself, TO yourself, and you will notice how much more you enjoy being with yourself! You spend more time w/ yourself than anyone :-), so treat yourself w same level of support and encouragement you would a good friend.
Found that on the internet and LOVED it! What a great reminder.
Found that on the internet and LOVED it! What a great reminder.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Seriously Busy
I have been crazy busy. Hardly on the computer, which is unlike me, and going 100 mph lately. There is alot going on right now and this week has been horrible for me food wise.
My clothes are fitting me better. I'm not squeezing into them. That makes me happy.
I have been sad for the past couple of days. I think it is the combination of Jeff leaving soon and my constant need to be more than what I am. I have really high expectations for myself and right now I am feeling like a failure because all I do is wife and mother. I have no job, no finished degree (an associates doesn't count in my mind), and no back up plan if bad things happen.
I have been missing my Dad like crazy lately and I really wish he was still around to give me the advice I know he would have. I would talk to my Mom but that ALWAYS ends up disastrous and she doesn't really get me anyway. I am more like my father.
I will leave you with a thought that of all people, Vince Vaugh, said to Ryan Seacrest 'Make sure your mind is where ever you body is.' Profound don't you think.
My clothes are fitting me better. I'm not squeezing into them. That makes me happy.
I have been sad for the past couple of days. I think it is the combination of Jeff leaving soon and my constant need to be more than what I am. I have really high expectations for myself and right now I am feeling like a failure because all I do is wife and mother. I have no job, no finished degree (an associates doesn't count in my mind), and no back up plan if bad things happen.
I have been missing my Dad like crazy lately and I really wish he was still around to give me the advice I know he would have. I would talk to my Mom but that ALWAYS ends up disastrous and she doesn't really get me anyway. I am more like my father.
I will leave you with a thought that of all people, Vince Vaugh, said to Ryan Seacrest 'Make sure your mind is where ever you body is.' Profound don't you think.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Snow Day!
I didn't get up this morning :( Micah came to snuggle in bed with me because school was cancelled today because of the snow. Snuggling with him was much more fun than getting up at 4:50 to do my workout. I am not as energized as I usually am though, so I don't think it was a good idea.
Anyhow, I will be getting up early the rest of the week. I am going to do my workout later today. The gym is closed tonight because of snow. Here in North Carolina, at least where I live, they even hear or think the word snow and everything shuts down. We are getting a pretty good amount too. Here is to life and its curve balls, and me learning to roll with the punches.
Anyhow, I will be getting up early the rest of the week. I am going to do my workout later today. The gym is closed tonight because of snow. Here in North Carolina, at least where I live, they even hear or think the word snow and everything shuts down. We are getting a pretty good amount too. Here is to life and its curve balls, and me learning to roll with the punches.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Top 5
Today I heard something that I needed to hear. To spend my time working on/with my top 5 priorities. So I got to thinking what is my top 5 priorities??????? When it comes down to it, what really matters to me. As of today this is what I think my top 5 are and my 2011 will be spent within these 5 things *cross fingers*
1- God/Spirituality
2- Family
3- Taking care of Myself
4- Dear Friends
5- Helping others
These are overly general in my opinion, but I am going to meditate on this further and refine it a bit better.
What are your top 5 priorities? Are the activities you spend during the day focused on those top 5? If not re-evaluate now. This helped me reevaluate my whole day!
1- God/Spirituality
2- Family
3- Taking care of Myself
4- Dear Friends
5- Helping others
These are overly general in my opinion, but I am going to meditate on this further and refine it a bit better.
What are your top 5 priorities? Are the activities you spend during the day focused on those top 5? If not re-evaluate now. This helped me reevaluate my whole day!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
workouts
P90X- Yoga done (well half of it, I was shaking and couldn't go on) 48 minutes
Stairstepper and gym later.
Stairstepper and gym later.
Day 4 of A New Me
Day 4 and I still got up. I am starting to like getting up early to get my workouts in. It is hard to get out of the bed, but as soon as I do I am so glad. I can see a great new habit forming with this getting up early thing. I'm even considering doing it over the weekend to keep it up. I feel great with all this working out. I thought that maybe doing 3 hours a day of vigorous activity would be hard, and it is hard, but my body is recovering well and I am pretty sure it is because of the water I am drinking and the good foods I am fueling my body with. I am not starving myself at all. If I am hungry I find something within reason to eat. I write it in my book and then I feel no guilt. I am at the beginning of this new me and I know that further down the road my choices will probably be much much better for me, but I feel like I am doing well so far.
After 30 days I will reevaluate my diet and see where I can tweak it to be better. I am not trying to change overnight. I know I won't change overnight, but I do know that my mind has never been this determined and this motivated. It is still early in the journey but keeping positive is helping me do more.
Yesterday I did have some chocolate, but it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Does that make sense. It didn't give me the same comfort as before. Or it did and I just like the comfort of sweat and working hard more. Seriously the high I feel after a good workout, like last night for example. I went to the gym and warmed up on the treadmill for 5 minutes then I did my lifting which ended up being about 30 minutes. After lifting I wanted to get in some more cardio so I took to the elliptical machine, the one that changes position so you can work all different parts of your legs- I love this one. I pushed myself to do the 'weightloss program' for 30 minutes. I turned the resistance up and I got busy. I was sweating, and sweating, and by the time I got off I was completely soaked through a sports bra, t-shirt, and sweatshirt. I was tired but I felt so good. So refreshed. I had gone to the gym mad because of a conversation that happened right before and I left the gym without a care in the world. Ready to take what life was going to throw at me. There are alot of things that are out of my control out there, but how hard I work and push myself is totally up to me. That is what I am trying to focus on.
I was talking to my sister yesterday and she was telling me about an at home enema cleanse. She thought that I would benefit from it. I looked into it this morning and I think I am going to do it. Have any of you done it? I do feel even with all this good eating and working out that I have a ton of goop in me, and I'm sure I do have build up from the months and months of eating bad and not taking care of myself. I am an extremely sensitive person when it comes to my body. I can feel any slight change in my energy, hormones, etc. That is why she thinks that this cleanse would be so good for me. Especially since I am eating well and working out already.
I am finally feeling better from being sick, but now the kids and my hubby have it AGAIN! Seriously, this is like round 4 or 5 of this crap. I have a can of Lysol and I will probably use it up today. I don't know what to do anymore about this crap. My poor husband has to go to work even when sick and he has to exercise while being sick too. The reason because they are getting ready to do some serious training for deployment. Not looking forward to this year in that arena. I will see my husband this month, part of next month, part of April, and December. All the other time he will be gone. That is all I want to post about that right now, but it is going to be a hard hard hard year. At least this year I will be taking care of myself and I am trying to focus on that.
One more rant: If one more person asks me if I am pregnant, I might just punch them. I am fat people. I am trying to change that. It hurts more than you could ever imagine by you asking me that. I have dealt with this problem since I was a teen because of the shape of my lower body. I am sick, sick, sick of this comment! BTW: it took the joy out of it when I was actually pregnant. End rant.
To end on a positive note: this is from my high school basketball days. My coach would make us say this everyday after practice "Everyday in everyway we get a little better."
After 30 days I will reevaluate my diet and see where I can tweak it to be better. I am not trying to change overnight. I know I won't change overnight, but I do know that my mind has never been this determined and this motivated. It is still early in the journey but keeping positive is helping me do more.
Yesterday I did have some chocolate, but it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Does that make sense. It didn't give me the same comfort as before. Or it did and I just like the comfort of sweat and working hard more. Seriously the high I feel after a good workout, like last night for example. I went to the gym and warmed up on the treadmill for 5 minutes then I did my lifting which ended up being about 30 minutes. After lifting I wanted to get in some more cardio so I took to the elliptical machine, the one that changes position so you can work all different parts of your legs- I love this one. I pushed myself to do the 'weightloss program' for 30 minutes. I turned the resistance up and I got busy. I was sweating, and sweating, and by the time I got off I was completely soaked through a sports bra, t-shirt, and sweatshirt. I was tired but I felt so good. So refreshed. I had gone to the gym mad because of a conversation that happened right before and I left the gym without a care in the world. Ready to take what life was going to throw at me. There are alot of things that are out of my control out there, but how hard I work and push myself is totally up to me. That is what I am trying to focus on.
I was talking to my sister yesterday and she was telling me about an at home enema cleanse. She thought that I would benefit from it. I looked into it this morning and I think I am going to do it. Have any of you done it? I do feel even with all this good eating and working out that I have a ton of goop in me, and I'm sure I do have build up from the months and months of eating bad and not taking care of myself. I am an extremely sensitive person when it comes to my body. I can feel any slight change in my energy, hormones, etc. That is why she thinks that this cleanse would be so good for me. Especially since I am eating well and working out already.
I am finally feeling better from being sick, but now the kids and my hubby have it AGAIN! Seriously, this is like round 4 or 5 of this crap. I have a can of Lysol and I will probably use it up today. I don't know what to do anymore about this crap. My poor husband has to go to work even when sick and he has to exercise while being sick too. The reason because they are getting ready to do some serious training for deployment. Not looking forward to this year in that arena. I will see my husband this month, part of next month, part of April, and December. All the other time he will be gone. That is all I want to post about that right now, but it is going to be a hard hard hard year. At least this year I will be taking care of myself and I am trying to focus on that.
One more rant: If one more person asks me if I am pregnant, I might just punch them. I am fat people. I am trying to change that. It hurts more than you could ever imagine by you asking me that. I have dealt with this problem since I was a teen because of the shape of my lower body. I am sick, sick, sick of this comment! BTW: it took the joy out of it when I was actually pregnant. End rant.
To end on a positive note: this is from my high school basketball days. My coach would make us say this everyday after practice "Everyday in everyway we get a little better."
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Wow Tired
I didn't go to the gym last night, my body was screaming. I even went to bed early.
Calories consumed: 1281
Calories burned: 990
P90X is done for today. On the schedule is a ton to do today. Meeting, playgroup, walk, cooking, gym, and anything else that always seems to creep into my day.
See ya tonight!
Calories consumed: 1281
Calories burned: 990
P90X is done for today. On the schedule is a ton to do today. Meeting, playgroup, walk, cooking, gym, and anything else that always seems to creep into my day.
See ya tonight!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Up and At EM, again
It was still hard to get up this morning! I hope that changes.
P90X-Cardio X is done, whahooo
Planning on going for a walk this afternoon about 4 miles.
Gym tonight to lift
My weekly weigh in day is tomorrow, but I weighed myself today and I'm at 213.8-2 lbs lower than yesterday, so I'm moving in the right direction. I hope to continue stellar weight loss by working out 3 times a day and eating right. I didn't sit down yesterday until after dinner. I was waiting to go to the gym, and even then I kept getting up to do things. Now I see how people don't have time for TV. I have always wanted to be that person, never having time or wanting to waste my time with TV. It seems that is more possible now.
I have lots of cleaning to do today and grocery trip, so see ya tonight!
Food for thought: When reaching for a goal, everyday counts until you reach that goal-Balanced Bites Nutrition (they are on my favorites links on the side-check em out)
P90X-Cardio X is done, whahooo
Planning on going for a walk this afternoon about 4 miles.
Gym tonight to lift
My weekly weigh in day is tomorrow, but I weighed myself today and I'm at 213.8-2 lbs lower than yesterday, so I'm moving in the right direction. I hope to continue stellar weight loss by working out 3 times a day and eating right. I didn't sit down yesterday until after dinner. I was waiting to go to the gym, and even then I kept getting up to do things. Now I see how people don't have time for TV. I have always wanted to be that person, never having time or wanting to waste my time with TV. It seems that is more possible now.
I have lots of cleaning to do today and grocery trip, so see ya tonight!
Food for thought: When reaching for a goal, everyday counts until you reach that goal-Balanced Bites Nutrition (they are on my favorites links on the side-check em out)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Good
I was good ALL day!
I stayed on track with my food and I did as I planned with exercise.
Workouts:
p90X-Core Synergistic
2.5 mile walk/jog
45 minute lifting at the gym
Food:
oatmeal, flax seed, and almond milk
prunes
salad with turkey and cottage cheese
Fish with salad and dinner roll
2 oz yogurt
1 cup plain popcorn
According to Internet calculations here is my input/output stats.
Calories eaten 1151
Calories burned 1169
I didn't mean to have such a low calorie day. I forgot to eat my snack after my run and that would have been about 200 more calories. I have been drinking water like a fool though. Feels so good! I'm tired and I am doing it all again tomorrow so I'm off to bed.
I stayed on track with my food and I did as I planned with exercise.
Workouts:
p90X-Core Synergistic
2.5 mile walk/jog
45 minute lifting at the gym
Food:
oatmeal, flax seed, and almond milk
prunes
salad with turkey and cottage cheese
Fish with salad and dinner roll
2 oz yogurt
1 cup plain popcorn
According to Internet calculations here is my input/output stats.
Calories eaten 1151
Calories burned 1169
I didn't mean to have such a low calorie day. I forgot to eat my snack after my run and that would have been about 200 more calories. I have been drinking water like a fool though. Feels so good! I'm tired and I am doing it all again tomorrow so I'm off to bed.
Up and At EM
I don't like getting up early, but I did and I will continue to achieve my goals. This is my year, my time, I deserve this and to take care of myself!
P90X Core Synergistics done
off to eat breakfast and get the kids up...........See ya tonight.
P90X Core Synergistics done
off to eat breakfast and get the kids up...........See ya tonight.
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