I have been crazy busy. Hardly on the computer, which is unlike me, and going 100 mph lately. There is alot going on right now and this week has been horrible for me food wise.
My clothes are fitting me better. I'm not squeezing into them. That makes me happy.
I have been sad for the past couple of days. I think it is the combination of Jeff leaving soon and my constant need to be more than what I am. I have really high expectations for myself and right now I am feeling like a failure because all I do is wife and mother. I have no job, no finished degree (an associates doesn't count in my mind), and no back up plan if bad things happen.
I have been missing my Dad like crazy lately and I really wish he was still around to give me the advice I know he would have. I would talk to my Mom but that ALWAYS ends up disastrous and she doesn't really get me anyway. I am more like my father.
I will leave you with a thought that of all people, Vince Vaugh, said to Ryan Seacrest 'Make sure your mind is where ever you body is.' Profound don't you think.
5 comments:
I wrote about this very topic...expectations. Good insights of yourself. Sorry you are so stressed. I can't imagine what it would be like to have someone leave under those conditions. We'll be here for you!
A couple things....
Awesome progress & I'm jealous of your clothes. Mine are already getting tighter! haha
And I understand completely about missing your Dad. As you can imagine, I'm missing my Mom SOOO much right now. So many things I wish I could ask her right now!
Big hugs & keep up the great work :)
Kathy-great post! I get it exactly! And thanks for being here :)
Heather- I know you are missing your Mom like never before. A friend of mine who was in the same situation was told to keep a journal and everything she would have talked to her Mom about to write in the journal and then to give that journal to your child when they are old enough to appriciate it. Thought that was a great idea, maybe it will help you too :) *hugs*
"I have no job, no finished degree (an associates doesn't count in my mind), and no back up plan if bad things happen."
You're really being too hard on yourself. (Like most women are!) I know I've been guilty of those same sort of negative thoughts. You DO have a job. A very important one. It just happens to not pay a dime! :) Never forget that there's a time and a season for everything. Just do the best you can and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect. (I really need to take my own advice!)
Carolyn- You are right, I am being hard on myself. We need each other to remind ourselves of that sometime :) Thanks
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