Ramblings

The older I get the more I realize I am a completely different person than the one I imagine in my head. This may sound odd, but I feel like an oxymoron sometimes. I think one way, but act another. Not with everything, but food for example. I KNOW what I should be doing and I KNOW this or that, but I don't DO. I know I am not alone with this oxymoron personality, but I would sure like to get over it. I self sabotage myself sometimes and that really bothers me. Why do I do this???

Another thing is I have all this great ideas. Truely things that would be great companies or help the communtiy, but I don't DO IT. I use the excuse I don't know how or I don't have the money/time/resourses, but the truth is I just am not DOING IT. People like Donald Trump are DOERS. They went out and just did it with no excuses. Where does that come from? Is it inate? Can it be learned? Will I ever want something that bad?

Now you see what I am thinking about all day long. hahaha I have this feeling inside me that wants to be great. Great at something meaningful. Something that will really make a difference. Maybe that will happen in my earthly life or the hereafter. That I don't know, but for now I just keep on working on me. Getting over the self sabotoge, non-action, and other human downfalls I have picked up along the way.

Self Decipline that is what it is all about, and I am still oh so far away, but I will never give up!