My Feet are happy as they have ever been. Perfectly manicured, soft, and happy. BUT I am still a mess! I gained this past week and now I'm even more an emotional wreck than before. It seems taking the focus off losing weight did not help but make things worse. I am so far in the wrong direction now that I don't feel like I will ever get back to where I want to be or even where I was. I have 6 weeks until the hubs comes back from training and we go on vacation. I have 20 lbs that I want to lose in that 6 weeks. I have 75 total that I want to lose, but to be in a place that I can look people in the eye and pose for pictures I really need to lose the 20 lbs.
A dear friend from high school came over to the house this past Sunday and she looks great. She was like a size 14 in high school and now she is in like a 6 or even a 4. I mean she looks AWESOME. Then I saw myself in pictures and I just cried. I don't feel inside like I look on the outside. I see myself as someone much thinner than I really am. My body image is totally off.
On the bright side. I am going to be going to spinning every Monday with my best friend. Last Monday, I hurt and hated the class. That is when I knew I needed to go back :)- Yesterday, I gave 150% I took no prisoners and man on man was I sweaty. I was soaked with my own sweat. IT WAS AWESOME! I left that class knowing there wasn't anything else I could give. No regrets. I got to thinking 'I need more of those kinds of workouts!'
So I guess the point is. I am back to focusing on my workouts, eating well, and getting this weight off myself. My happiness relies on it. Plain and and simple. For me to be happy in my eyes I need to be healthy and fit and strong.
There are some exciting changes happening in the next week and some really sad ones. I will let you know about them next week some time. I am looking forward to the growth that is coming to me very very soon.
OK Reality here it is!
weight: 219-ugggggg :(
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