Mom of 2

Ok, being a Mom of 2 is finally hitting me. I have spent 2 full days by myself and I didn't get anything done, the house is a mess, meals are non-existent, and I didn't get a nap in.

Last Year in my 20's

Yesterday I turned 29. This is the last year in my 20's. I have always wanted my 30's to be the best so I am focusing this next year to achieve goals that I have always wanted and haven't seen success yet. One thing I know for sure is I am going to enjoy the journey and not just focus on the end result like I usually do. I am happy with who I am, I just want to be better. I'm sure I will have down moments but I hope I have more happy times.

Fingers

I have always bitten my nails. I hate this about myself. I have tried many times to quit. It like my weight has been challenging. Recently my nails are looking worse than ever before. I have many that are partials and they are very very short and gross. I am truly embarrassed by them.

I did a google search to get some new ideas to try and I found this web site www.wikihow.com/Stop-biting-your-nails I like a few of the suggestions so I am going to start them today.

1-choose a nail to protect. No matter what do not bite this nail.- I am choosing my ring finger on both hands. I will use an emery board on this finger if something is bothering me and I will keep the nail trimmed and clean.

Once I have this nail down I will choose another, then another, until I have them all protected.

2-Whenever I notice I want to bite my nails I will drink water. This will take out two goals at once. My water intake goal and non-biting.

Amazing

It is amazing what breast feeding is doing to my body! It is pulling everything together much faster than it did with Micah and I am dropping the pounds. I am down to 212 already. I am watching what I am eating and doing good so between the two things I am hoping to be back to my pre-Carmen weight by the end of the 6 week recovery time and then I can get off the extra fat that I had before Carmen.

I feel great. I have a yeast infection around my incision area because it stays to moist, but the doc gave me some medicine for it and once it goes away I should be as good as new. I am limited in what I can do because I still am recovering, but feeling good feels great! I haven't felt good in a long time.

I went for a walk with the kids and my sister-in-law (she is here helping me out, thank goodness) and I was totally out of breath. It is going to be rough getting back into the swing of things. The long walks are put on hold until I get this yeast thing under control.

We are taking a family vacation to Florida in June so my goal is to weigh 186 by June 1st. That is 13 weeks, 2 lbs a week. I'm really hoping to surpass that, but this is achievable.

Hard!

I'm back to the same old thing! I plan, I want, I really want, but in the end I don't do. Today, I was going to start my clean eating diet. Not restricting because I am breast feeding, but cleaning the crap out. Yet tonight I had a Mtn. Dew and pizza for dinner. We were celebrating Jeff getting orders to the base he wanted and the hard work he put in to get them.

Why do I do this? Is it failing to plan? Is it fear? Where is this coming from. I do it to myself. No amount of someone telling me what to do has been able to help me. The thing is, I do this with other things as well, not just the weight loss battle.

So, here is what I am going to do. This week I am going to focus on water intake and cutting out all other liquids, again. Only this focus for this week. If, and I will do it, I succeed this week with this one goal, I will move to another. Maybe this way I won't see the big picture and find success with the small goals.

The journey has begun, I'm ready to blaze my trail, like I have always wanted.

One Journey ends, Another begins

Carmen Elizabeth Perez

This is me the day I went to the hospital to deliver Carmen. My final weight was 239. I gained 41 lbs with this pregnancy. Not to bad. Better than last time for sure! My aches and pains included lower back spasms, hip pain and popping, no energy, no stamina, not sleeping at night, sleeping in the recliner when I do sleep so I can get up to go to the bathroom, emotional, and moody as hell.

Two days ago, I weighed myself and I am already down to 217. I still have swelling and water retention due to the surgery. I am excited to see where my weight settles and get to work on getting it off. I have been eating pretty bad this past recovery week, but I am now focusing on eating good and healthy again. I would love if my weight never settled and just kept coming off. My hope is that with my 6 week recovery I can lose the weight with diet and then double my efforts with exercise once I am cleared.

Friday!

Carmen will be here no later than this Friday February 19, 2010! The date was moved up because I am in serious hip and back pain. When I found out I was having a girl I was very overwhelmed! I get very nervous thinking I will be responsible for someone like me. I know what I was like growing up and I just hope I can be all the things she needs.

Now that it is days away, I am nothing but excited and happy. I have had an overwhelming feeling that she and I will be close and we will share a bond that can not be broken. I'm sure we will have moments because I will be her Mother first and always, but I can't wait to do all the fun girly things I love to do and can't with Micah or Jeff.

I will post pictures and thoughts as soon as I can.