Running

Yesterday I did a 3 mile walk/run. I feel pretty sore today. I now know that I need to keep up my running so I am ready to train in January. WOW. That is what I have to say. The training is going to kick my butt, and I am so ready for it.

Today we woke up to snow and it continued all day so Micah and I just stayed home and played and didn't do any chores. We just relaxed and played. It was really nice to do nothing, but now I feel like maybe I should have done more because I leave for Vegas on Tuesday. I guess Monday will be crazy busy.

I wish I had someone to do this journey with that would like to talk about it. I really need someone that I can talk to. I am the ear for many people around me and I just wish that I had someone to listen to me. I guess that is what this blog is for. Jeff use to be the ear for me, but by the time he comes home he is not wanting to listen to me for a long time. He wants the short quick version and no discussion. I love a good discussion, maybe going home will help.

There are things around the house that I need to get done, but I am just avoiding them like the plague. I just don't know how to get motivated to get them done. Part of my problem is that I don't like to start something unless I can finish it and with Micah that just isn't possible. I don't like using Micah as an excuse so I just need to figure it out. FIGURE IT OUT!!!AHHHHHH.

The Flying Pig Marathon 2009

I have come to the realization that I am not achieving my weight loss goal because it seems that I have ALWAYS had that goal. So I am going to train for a marathon. It is held here in Cincinnati and it is called The Flying Pig Marathon. It is on Sunday, May 3rd so I feel like I have plenty of time to prepare for it. I know that with the training and my new goal that I will achieve my goal of weight loss on my journey to conquer the marathon, something I thought I would never do.

If you would like to join me on marathon morning you are more than welcome. I am going to do this!

I didn't do it

Well in my last post I was really motivated to do something at my In-laws, but I sure didn't! I gained! and I am so mad at myself. I had a great time but I didn't do anything for myself or my goals.

I am only home 1 week before I go to see my family and I have so much to do. I am taking each day at a time. I am going to log on here and enter what I eat and what exercise I have done.

I hope that I will be better at my family's house. I can't backtrack more than I already have. I have worked way to hard to just throw it away while visiting family.

I have been at our gym for a year now and I have only lost 21 lbs. I should have lost at least 52 lbs. 1 lb a week. I only lost less than 1/2 lb a week. What is my problem, why can't I stay on track with my diet. I know that it is my diet that is failing me. I am not staying on track at all. This is a problem for me and I am the only one that can solve it.

Re-motivated

So, yeah the past 2 weeks I have been very unmotivated to do anything. I am recharged and ready to take on my next goal. I am setting it for 10 lbs. 183 lbs by the new year! That is totally do-able. You may be asking where I received my re-motivation well we arrived at my In-Laws today and they TOTALLY noticed my work and loss. It made me just want to do better and more. Plus, they have a treadmill and total body gym in the garage so I can continue to workout while here. I am excited! Hopefully my family will be just as nice.

So, my plan for the next week will be a 30 minute run on the treadmill every morning. Full body workout 3 times this week and if I can I want to do another 30 minute run at night. Maybe I can get out of the 190s while I am on vacation, who does that right??? I will be happy if I just maintain instead of gaining which is what I usually do when I visit the south.

December 9th I fly out west to see my friends and family whom I have not seen in about a year. I am hoping that they will have a positive reaction towards all my hard work. I know that I could have been better and already acheived my goals, but I am who I am and everyday is a battle. I will be out west for 2 weeks and I want to continue to lose while I am there so when I come home Jeff will notice a difference. Having others notice my hard work is like a drug to me, I crave it!

Biggest Loser drama

So, If you are not watching the Biggest Loser this season consider yourself lucky. I had to turn it off last night because of the EVIL and HATE that is breeding on the show. It stems from a woman named Vicky! Adding fuel to the fire is a woman named Heba. What was a wholesome uplifting show with people changing their lives and making themselves better people, is now a horrible reality show just like the rest.

I wish that Biggest Loser would have tried harder to only get people with a good heart wanting to lose weight and maybe make some money along the way. My favorite seasons and the most memorable ones are with good people. Even last season with Mark being so mean at the beginning had his heart changed by the end and became a wonderful person before our eyes.

What is the saying about the true character of a person comes out under extreme stress, well VICKY'S true character is a horrible person and she needs to work on her insides more than her outside because her inside being that vindictive and hateful will kill her just as fast as her weight will.

I have said my peace now and will not continue to watch this season. I don't need more hate and contention added to my life. SHAME ON YOU BIGGEST LOSER AND SHAME ON THEM.

I WON!

www.relishrelish.com

I won a free three month subscription to this web site. You have to check it out. I am so excited to save money on groceries and have some new fun dinners to prepare. The food all looks so fresh and good.

What you do is pick up to 5 dinners and a dessert and it gives you all the recipes and a grocery list. So awesome! Easy planning and preparing.

I would like to thank Shannon, she is the person I won the subscription from and her blog is http://theblessedhomekeeper.blogspot.com/

Thanks again!

Still 193

Which I think is good considering I haven't been able to get to the gym for the past week and I have eaten like crap. Micah has been crazy sick and we have not been able to do anything. He is feeling much better tonight thought and I am hoping that he will sleep through the night.

The ball is SATURDAY!!! I am so excited and I am so glad that Micah is feeling better because I really didn't want to miss the ball.

Personal Thoughts

I am having a bit of an emotional and spiritual overload this week. The election has everyone's emotions up, good and bad.

I did not vote for Obama. I think he will change things especially now with the HUGE Democratic majority in the house. I do think that he has good intentions, but I believe that they will get scewed along the way. Anyway, I say all that to say, I have this deep feeling that I need to focus on simplifing my life and getting my family prepared. Putting God in the center and then family and then the world. Which is the way it should be anyway, but it is stressed so much more right now.

I know I am being vague but I don't really want to put details on the WWW. So I think I will start a hand written journal for the rest of these thoughts.

To Much Candy

I weighed in today at 198! bad bad bad. I am bloated because it is that time of the month and I have had to much of the Halloween Festivities. I know that it isn't 'real' weight because my clothes are still fitting loose. I am getting my focus back and I was really good today. I ate on track and went to the gym. I'm sure next week I will have a better result.

I am looking to be at 191 or less by next week.

We are heading down to Alabama for Thanksgiving, so now I am not only working hard for the ball, but I really want to look amazing going back to see family.

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS!!!

Good Things

So, I finally feel like I am getting my mojo back. I am getting my confidence back and I fit into all of my clothes in my closet. Well, some are to big now. =) Tonight I went to a church activity and I had 3 different people ask me if I had lost a lot of weight lately. It was nice to see that others are starting to see what I have been working hard for so long. I will keep up what I am doing and I know that I will get better and better.

LIFTING HEAVY WEIGHTS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO! I know that my body only looks as good as it does right now because of the heavy weights. I do minimal cardio, but really push it hard with my weights and it is working. Like they say the proof is in the pudding and my pudding is getting smaller and smaller. LOL

THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE MEANS NOTHING! So I am still weighing in at 193, but like I said I am fitting clothes that I haven't fit since I was like 180 before Micah. My body has completely changed shape and I believe that my bone density is getting better. I want heavy dense bones so I don't get other diseases. I am losing the inches and that is more important than some number.

BE FABULOUS NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE! Owning who you are at every point in your life is so important. I see that now. Next time I am pregnant and feeling huge I will have to come back to this post and remember that I am beautiful no matter what because who I am is most important, not what I look like. I do believe that we should all continue to try and be the best that we can be, whatever that may entail i.e. lose weight, get clothes that fit correctly, new makeup, etc.

Overall, I guess I am doing really great right now. I hope that I can just keep this feeling going and pass it on to you!

Hair cut

Here is a pic of my hair cut. I love it!

193 but.....

I weighed in at 193 today so I'm not down lbs, but I am down inches.YAY. I am down an inch in my waist and an inch in my hips. Both where I need to lose. I will take it.

It is funny the little things that motivate me. I am vain, when it comes to certain things, I'm admitting this right now. The ball is less than 3 weeks away and I want to look the best that I can for it. This motivates me to do more, push harder, and focus. I guess I just want people to think I look beautiful, and really who doesn't think like that.Maybe I am wrong about that, but I'm not obsessed about my looks, just around special occasions.

My dress is sleeveless so I have been working on my arms pretty hard. I am working on everything really.

I had my hair cut today. I really like the cut and I feel like it will grow out nicely. My last cut did NOT grow out nicely. I am a twice a year hair cut girl so when the cut doesn't grow out it really frustrates me.

I will try and get a picture up sometime this week.

Determination

I am no longer watching my friends baby during the day so I am fully determined and dedicating the next 3.5 weeks to exercise and good eating. The ball is that close, I know I can't belive how fast time flyes to. I will be going to the gym twice a day and doing fun activities with Micah inbetween. Walks, going to the park, running, and anything else we can do to enjoy the nice weather before it changes to COLD weather. I am so not looking forward to the winter.

I am reading a really amazing book right now called The Schwarzbein Principle. It is filled with great nutrition information and it follows along with everything that I feel about nutrition as well, at least so far. I checked it out from the library, but it has so much good information in it I am going to purchase it. I am also getting one for my sister because I think she would read it and enjoy it as well.

I love that I have a sister and a brother that are as interested in being healthy as I am. I just wish that I had the same determination to stay on track. I sometimes feel that I am two people with conflicting personalities. I feel this because I am so passionate about being healthy and keeping great care of your body and your surroudings, but yet I do things totally contradictory. I guess the passionate side keeps me motivated to continue to better my choices and my life. I hope that my children will learn from my mistakes and start off far ahead than I did. I guess that is more important.

I doubt I have lost any weight this week. I made pumpkin cookies last Thursday and I ate way to many of them. I love pumpkin season!

Down lbs!

So I did lose this past week. I am down to 193.2

Here are my new goals
6 week goal-Nov. 8, 2008= 186
8 week goal-Nov. 22, 2008=182
10 week goal-Dec 6, 2008=178
12 week- Dec 20, 2008=174
14 week Jan 3, 2009=170 (wedding weight)
16 week Jan 17, 2009=166
6 months= March 9, 2009(birthday) Best body EVER!
8 months= Mayish-get pregnant! Yay!

Biggest Loser

So, the biggest loser is on again. I have been watching since the beginning how many years ago, and every year I wish I was on the show.

How is it that I have all the tools and I still manage to fail when it comes to my weight loss? I know I am losing and I tell myself that it is a slow battle that I will forever have to fight, but what if I don't want to fight anymore???

Don't worry, I'm not giving up. I am still fighting the good fight. I really want it. It is so much in my system and I get so excited talking about eating healthy and how powerful it truly is. I just wonder if my outside will ever look like how I feel, or what my inside looks like?

I'm off to bed to let my mind sort it all out while I sleep.

1 more thing. I will be weighing in every Tuesday along with the Biggest Loser, maybe this time I can actually see something happen for me.

Tracking

I have been tracking my weight on a calander. I wanted to put the input here so I can keep better track of how I am doing and I don't have to keep the calander at the end of the year.
October 1st- 195
September 14-197.8
August 30-195.2
August 29-196.6
August 28-199.2
August 22-200.0
July 31-200.8
July 30-201.6
July 23-200.0
July 10-201.0
July 5-202.8
July 4-203.8
July 2-202.6
June 30-203.4
June 29-202.8
June 23-204.8
End of tracking

Blah

blah, gained 5 lbs due to all my stress the past two weeks and not going to the gym. blahblahblah........

If you haven't read my family blog I was out of power for the last 9 days. Life was very interesting to say the least. My stress level was through the roof. Not to mention my anxiety was out of control too. My face is a bumpy mess, I feel like crap, and I gained weight.

The power is back on, the laundry is done and put away, I am starting to feel my stress and anxiety levels lower and I have a game plan to get going on my weight loss again.

but mostly BLAH.....

One good thing about losing everything in your fridge and freezer is you get to start over and I am only going to place good things in there! Fruit, vegetables, low-fat meats, cottage cheese, you know all the good favorites. I am going to make some beans too.

I am going to try eating a piece of fruit anytime I get a sugar craving. I bought cantaloupe, watermelon, nectarines, and apples. Micah loves all of those too.

I don't think I am going to make any goal, so I will be writing some new ones by the end of the week.

Marathon???

I am thinking of running a marathon next year. It is a huge one here in Cincinnati called The Flying Pig Marathon. The track goes right by our house and we sat outside watching this year. I am very very intimidated by it. I don't run well at all right now, but I have a few friends that do marathons. I might ask them for help and motivation. For now it is just a thought.............I will continue this later.

Clean Office

Well, I finally did it. I cleaned up the office/guest bedroom. Now people can actually stay in this room and not be crowded with all my crap.

I am watching a friends 5 month old baby during the day, and it is helping me be more productive. I guess having more responsibility makes me do more. It is nice to be on top of things again. It can get pretty boring doing the same thing everyday. I just hope that I keep it up. I need a bookshelf really bad for the office. I think with the first weeks money from babysitting I will go and get one. Then I can finish up that room.

Things I still need to finish:

1-friendship kits service project (next Friday deadline)

2-plant the tulips (finish tomorrow)

3-bring couch from garage into guest room (tonight maybe)

4-hang pictures in guest room(???)

5-Bookshelf (Saturday??)

New Motivation

Jeff and I are working on losing weight together. We are both doing the South Beach Diet and on a good exercise routine. Jeff is working out with his Marine buddies and I am back on the New Rules of Lifting for Women.

Last week I lost 5 lbs. I am down to 195 and that makes me offically out of the OBESE catagory and into the overweight catagory. I need to lose 30 lbs to get into the Normal catagory. My overall goal is 146. I picked this goal from doing some research on my body type and BMI numbers.I have only 49 lbs to go. I hope to be at or near my 146 goal by the end of the year. That gives me 4 months to lose 49 lbs. I guess I will be losing it Biggest Loser style and just working hard and not taking to many breaks.

I am not focusing on how much I need to lose. I am just focusing on each day and eating correctly and getting my exercise in. Each day will have its own challenges and so if I take one day at a time I will be more successful. In the end I will be able to look back and see what I have done.

I look back a year ago, and I felt so overwhelmed and unmotivated weighing 220, moving, dealing with a new baby. So much change. This year will be more successful because I am in a more settled place physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Cruising the Net

While I was waisting time looking on the net I came across a girl's blog that I really enjoyed. She got my attention because she was my age and in her picture she was wearing a white shirt and then a low-cut tank or dress, I couldn't tell it was just a head shot. Anyway, I was thinking to myself I wonder if she is LDS because she was being modest and that is how I would have worn the top. I know I'm a deep person, right. LOL. So anyway, I was reading her blog and insights and found that we have a lot in common. I am going to check back on her blog because I love to see how others are dealing with the same things I am.

For example, cooking-incorporating new recipes and healthier options in the home. Dealing with depression/anxiety/stress. Being a stay-at-home-Mom. Just overall trying to become better and better each day.

She has motivated me to do something that I have been avoiding-cleaning up my office/guest bedroom and get it organized. So I'm off...............................Pray for me that I get it done.LOL

Busy is Good!

I have been busy lately and that is a good thing. Micah is sleeping right now so I have a minute to update. I am finally out of the 200's! Yeay for meeting that goal.

My next weight goal is to be at 190 by the end of August. When I get to 190 Jeff is buying me a new lap swimsuit because the swimsuit I currently use is not made to do laps in. Plus, it doesn't fit and I need the motivation because I have always wanted a lap swimsuit that fits!!!

A new thing that has happened in the last week is I am cooking meals and teaching vegan cooking to a lady. I was trying to think of a way to make extra money one day and I posted on Craigslist that I knew how to cook and bake for Vegans and she emailed me. So far I have only made one meal for her, but we are getting together next week for our first cooking class. I look forward to where this will take me and the extra money!!

Micah is doing AWESOME. he is such a ball of personality and we have a lot of fun together now. I think I have finally come to terms with being a Mom! It was a struggle inside for me to realize that just because I am home with Micah I still a worthwhile person. I always based my worth on my job. Now I know my worth as a person and nothing can take that from me.

I think they need life skills classes in High School to teach kids how to feel of worth, handle money and prepare for the future without debt, and so on. There are so many things that I am just now learning and maybe it is because I am more open to it, but I feel like I should have known these things a long time ago. I guess that is why home school is becoming more and more popular because every person is different and we learn and absorb things differently. Public school is like pushing a square through a round hole. We all come out loopy. hahaha Wasn't going for the pun, but it just came to me.

Book you all need to read '48 Days to the Work you Love' by Dan Miller. A great self-help read! so good!

Micah's up got to go. Peace!

Ramblings

Update:

School is being put off again because the new GI Bill was just passed and I can now use Jeff's benefits, but I have to wait until August 2009. Once we get it transferred to my name then I will start school again.

Body-for-life: I have already fallen off the bandwagon. BUT I have been consistent for the last 3 days in doing my cardio 2 a day! I am going to focus on just getting to the gym and getting in the cardio. I don't really want to build muscle right now. It is working because Saturday I was 203 and I am 200 even right now. I expect to be in the 190's by the end of the week FINALLY! I run on the treadmill for 3 miles or I swim for 30 minutes straight. I need a lap swimsuit really really bad, so I told myself that once I hit 190 I will buy myself a lap swimsuit. I am proving to myself that I am dedicated before I spend any money. Plus, Jeff said well at 180 I will buy you something else you really want and again at 170. SO, every 10 lbs will be new motivation.

Juicing: I have started juicing this week too. I don't eat enough fruits and veggies in the day and so I pulled out my VERY EXPENSIVE, USED ONLY 1 TIME Juicer. I figured it was about time I use the stupid thing. I do 1 cup of spinach, 10 grapes, 3 carrots, 2 celery stalk, and 1 apple. It is very very good. I really love it. I read somewhere that when you are new to juicing start sweet and slowly get more and more vegetably, if that makes any sense. It did to me. I am enjoying it so far and my machine is so easy to clean up. I know that helps.

Debt: Jeff and I are on a cash basis and this first go around was rough. I think this next paycheck won't be so bad, but I know that we are still adjusting. I am pushing through and I can't wait for the end results! It is and will be so worth it.

Micah: He is finally on a great schedule that we are both happy with. He is down to one long nap and that makes me very happy. I can get so much done and still have plenty of time to play and help him grow and learn. This week has been great.

Church: My new calling is ENRICHMENT LEADER. I am so excited! I love planning and doing events and getting all the women together. I have so many ideas and hopefully we will be able to use some of them. I can't wait to see what this calling has in store for me.

TEMPLE PREP CLASS-I have been invited to the Temple prep class and I am excited about this too. I don't know if I will go through the Temple without Jeff, it is something that I am still praying about, but it will be nice to learn about why the Temple is so important again. I could use a refresher course for sure. The Lord is blessing our family in so many ways and I am so grateful for the love that we feel.

Well, that is all for now. Off to finish laundry.

All over the place

I feel like I have been all over the place with my goals lately. I think I have a path now and today was the beginning of huge things to come. I am doing Body-for-Life, I am working on a plan of action to get out of debt, I have a action plan to save for my education, Micah's schedule is coming together, and I have a new great calling at church, but I haven't been officially called yet so I can't let that one out yet.

Since we have moved I feel like I am starting to become Me again. I get things accomplished and my mindset is just a whole lot healthier. The next 12 weeks is all about changing myself and becoming healthier. Not just a physical makeover, but spiritual, and mental too.

Overall, I am happy and that is a nice place to be again.

Austenland by Shannon Hale

So, I will admit that I have NEVER read any of Austen, but after reading Austenland and then watching The Jane Austen Book Club, I want to read them all.

Austenland is a fantastic book. I loved all of the characters and the story was wildly entertaining. Just the kind of fiction book I was looking for lately. I read it because it is our June book club read, and I am so glad that I did. Ok, so time for another admitance........I listened to the book on cd because really when do I have time to read lately. I have 2 Ensigns, a Dave Rasmey book, and other magazines that keep piling up because I just am not making time for it. To many other priorities for me at the time.

Anyway, I just wanted to post this quickly. Read it, or as I did listen to it. hahaha

Update

I have been gone for a while because of the move and then vacation. I am focusing on setting some new goals so I will be back when I have them all ready. but I have to scream because I'm so excited

I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!

I'm so excited!

13 Weeks left

I didn't lose this past week, but I didn't gain either. I was off track and not focused and it shows because the scale didn't move. I am refocused and ready to leave the 200's for good this week!! I need to lose 3 lbs this week to be at 199. I can do it!!!

My clothes are fitting loose so I tried on some pants that I wore before I had Micah and THEY FIT!!!! I am so excited because they were my favorite pants before and now I have extra clothes. I can't wait to have to buy new clothes because my old clothes don't fit. That will be a great day!

Today's plan is some lifting and a 3 mile run. I am going to try and take 30 seconds off of my run. That would be a time of 37:38. My goal is to get my 3 mile under 28 minutes.

I am ready to cut my hair! I have decided to go short. I don't know when I am going to do it, but I am ready. I might do it when we go on vacation in June.

14 weeks left

Down 4 lbs this week. I weighed in at 202!!! YEAH. I finally am moving the scale. The extra cardio and watching my calories is working.

I am going for 4 lbs this week too. I am going to push myself and try to get cardio twice a day. In the morning lifting and cardio and in the evening a class of some sort. I think I might try a spinning class. Everyone keeps telling me to do it, but I am kind of hesitant.

I have 14 weeks left of my challenge and I am hoping to continue the 4 lb weight loss the rest of the time. I don't know if it is physically possible, but I am going to try. If I do 4 lbs a week the rest of the challenge then I will be to my goal weight. But I am giving myself until October to hit my goal weight of 146.

Can't Wait!

I couldn't wait until Sunday to weigh myself because I feel like I have lost. So, when I came home from the gym today I weighed myself................202!! That is right 4 lbs this week and the week isn't even over! I am hoping to weigh in on Sunday at that or even lighter. All the cardio and calorie watching is paying off finally!

I know that I will reach my 16 week goal now for sure! I just have to stay focused and keep on keeping on. I have to get new gym shoes so today I did laps in the pool. I love swimming. It doesn't feel like cardio until I get out of the pool and then I feel it. I feel like I push myself more in the pool as well.

Well Micah just woke up so that is all for now. Peace!

Cholesterol Goals

HDL 50-60
LDL under 50
Tri under 150

Happy Cinco De Mayo!!!

I went to the gym twice today. This morning I did my weight training and 45 minutes of cardio. Tonight I did a dance class.

I joined some friends for a fun Mexican lunch in celebration of Cinco de Mayo. It was so yummy and I love chips and salsa sooooo much.

I forgot to post my blood results so here they are:

October 2007
Triglycerides 276
HDL(good cholesterol) 22
LDL (bad Cholesterol) 61.8

April 2008
Tri 131
HDL 23
LDL 85

So I managed to get my Tri's down, but my LDL went way up. I am still in healthy levels but I want that number to come down. My HDL is not at a healthy level. So that is why I have decided to do so much cardio because the only way to raise that number is cardio, and a good diet. I am doing both. I have an appointment in 2 months to get my blood tested again. I am looking for great results in the blood work and in my physique.

The Truth

Who was it that said the truth shall set you free??? Well hopefully these painful pictures will set me free. Free to reach my goals. They are scary, please be kind!

3 lbs to lose

This week I have 3 lbs to lose since I only lost 1 last week. Today I am planning on doing lifting and then 45 min of cardio. I need to build up my endurance. I do not run very fast and I can't run very long. All things that I need to build.

Today is Cinco de Mayo and I am meeting some friends from church for lunch to eat yummy Mexican food! I love Mexican food. I am going to be good and only get a small lunch. Probably chicken taco or fish tacos. I will have to be good on all of my other meals since I am eating out for lunch.

Laundry and cleaning on the household docket today.

1 lb

Lost 1 lb this week I weighed in at 206 this morning. Down from 207 last week. I am going to push for 3 lbs this week since I only lost 1 last week. I was doing really good with my diet until the end of the week I started to get to lax. I have to stay focused all week. I know I can do this.

1 pound down.....60 to go.......

Ramblings

The older I get the more I realize I am a completely different person than the one I imagine in my head. This may sound odd, but I feel like an oxymoron sometimes. I think one way, but act another. Not with everything, but food for example. I KNOW what I should be doing and I KNOW this or that, but I don't DO. I know I am not alone with this oxymoron personality, but I would sure like to get over it. I self sabotage myself sometimes and that really bothers me. Why do I do this???

Another thing is I have all this great ideas. Truely things that would be great companies or help the communtiy, but I don't DO IT. I use the excuse I don't know how or I don't have the money/time/resourses, but the truth is I just am not DOING IT. People like Donald Trump are DOERS. They went out and just did it with no excuses. Where does that come from? Is it inate? Can it be learned? Will I ever want something that bad?

Now you see what I am thinking about all day long. hahaha I have this feeling inside me that wants to be great. Great at something meaningful. Something that will really make a difference. Maybe that will happen in my earthly life or the hereafter. That I don't know, but for now I just keep on working on me. Getting over the self sabotoge, non-action, and other human downfalls I have picked up along the way.

Self Decipline that is what it is all about, and I am still oh so far away, but I will never give up!

Sick

Well, I'm sick today. Actually, I got sick yesterday around 4 p.m. I am staying low and trying to get back to 100%.

I am listening to the book on cd In Defense of Food and it is really good. It is talking about the western diet and trends and research. I am getting a lot out of it. Some things that I want to incorporate into my life is to cut out all hydrolyzed oils and high fuctose corn syrup.

Everything that is made in a factory seems to have these man-made bad foods. Hydrolyzed=trans-fats=cancer. That isn't what the book teaches. It is my own opinion and thought.

16 Week Personal Challenge

I am challenging myself to a 16-week challenge. The Biggest Loser is 16 weeks and ALI was heavier than I am now and she is now in great shape! I know that she did crazy amounts of cardio and lifting, and I have no idea what her diet consisted of. I am going to focus on getting in at least 3 hours a day of ACTIVE activity on top of my daily chores and running around.

Sunday's will be my weigh in and picture day. If I take a picture every week, it may keep me more accountable.

Start date: April 27, 2008
End date: August 3, 2008

Start weight: 207

This is my time. It is time for me to prove to myself that I can do what I set my mind to. I have to do the work and watch my diet.

Gained 2 lbs

AGGG. I weighed in and I gained 2 lbs. Which doesn't make sense because my clothes are feeling looser. I think it is water weight, but it is still very frustrating! I am very focused on my eating this week and today I have been very good. I am even getting all my water in. I upped my cardio and with all the changes I am hoping to be out of the 200's by the end of April. I keep having this goal of getting out of the 200's and I just can't seem to reach it. April is my month I have to reach this goal. For me!
Short term milestone I fit into a regular 16 and no longer have to shop in the 'womens' dept. I will be so excited when I will be in the single digits. My tops are xl/large. I use to only fit xl, so I am very excited about that. I can now wear some of my old tops. That is a very good thing since I don't have much clothing.

Thanks

Thanks everyone for stopping by and saying hello! It is nice to know that I am accountable to all of you out there.

Phase 2 Soreness

This phase is really making me sore. I am working muscles that I didn't push as hard last phase. Which is good to build, and build with proportion. I am looking forward to seeing how my body will change. I feel it for sure! My excitement just keeps building and it just motivates me to do more. It's like I am on an exercise high. I love it.
Diet, Diet, Diet, I need to work on my diet. I know this, so why don't I do it???

So I am torn on if I should cut my hair or not. Jeff likes it above my shoulders so I can make it look curly. He also likes it long and straight. I like it both ways. AHHHHHHHHHHH can I have both? hahaha

I'm 27 and I know that I want a future in the health industry. That is what I love. I love exercise, food, nutrition, and lifting. As I go through this journey I may be finding what I want to do with myself. I will have to see what life brings my way. Stay tuned, right?

Beautiful Sunday!

Today is such a beautiful day! It is the second sunny day in a row! There is a light at the end of a wintry tunnel. haha
It took Jeff and I 2 hours to get all of the leaves out of our backyard. The backyard is halfway decent now. I just need to clean the swing set with cleaner and we want to get a fire pit. I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies because you can't have a sunny Sunday without fresh baked cookies. Not on the diet, but oh so good.
Micah loved being outside all day. He has been so happy all day. He is also crawling all over the place and getting really good at it. He has found that he can talk really loud too. He talks and laughs as much as he can.
I am very sore from my workout yesterday. This phase is so much about the butt and back. At least that is where I feel it the most. I am excited to make them strong! Tomorrow is workout A(2) and it is suppose to be sunny again so Micah and I will probably go for a walk tomorrow too. The more activity = more results, right?
I forgot to weigh in this morning, so I will do it in the morning.

General Confrence Weekend

As I get older I love General Conference more and more. Not just because I get to stay home and I don't have to fight Micah, nap time, and church, but also because I love to hear the council from the Elders of the Church. I LOVE to hear from the PROPHET!
We all have things that we need to work on, but hearing from the Prophet and other speakers I realign what needs to be worked on NOW. They talked so much about 'THE FAMILY' this morning and I have noticed that it is becoming more and more important to raise my family with outstanding values and correct teachings of Christ. So much of the evil that happens in the world today can be stopped just by having loving parents at home. By loving I mean parents that care and teach good principles.
I can't wait for the day that Jeff accepts the gospel of Jesus Christ into his heart and we are sealed as a family for time and all eternity. I know that someday it will happen, and I pray that I will continue to have the patience needed. Heavenly Father blesses us so much that I know that Jeff and He have a good relationship. Often Jeff teaches me about the principles that I am trying to teach him. =).
I need to work on my example and be a better one. My visiting teachers taught me in March that our example speaks louder than we think sometimes. When they were teaching me this, I thought of many situations that for me this was true.
I love The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is the true church with the FULL gosple of Jesus Christ. Through Christ and his gospel I will return to live with my Heavenly Father. I know that my prayers are answered. I know that Thomas S. Monson is our Prophet today. Repentance and Forgiveness is mine because of the Attonement of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is our Savior and our brother. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Phase 2 Begins

Today was the start of Phase 2 of my training. I should be finished with it in about 4 weeks. I am working really hard on my diet for this phase because it is short and I want to see results. I hope to fall below the 200 mark soon. I know that I am losing inches, but I just can't get past that I am still in the 200's. It makes me feel crappy.

My workout this morning jolted me. It felt great to start a new routine. My body responded well and I am sore too. I could really feel it in my butt!!! Which is so good. Who doesn't want a great butt?

The weather is starting to get a little warm and today was sunny. I am making plans in my head for the yard, and I can't wait to go visit Jen.

I, for the most part, am in a really happy place right now. I am working on my body. My relationship with Jeff is really great. I finally feel like I did before I had Micah. My head is clear and I am ok with who I am right now. I don't want to stay here forever, but for now it is wonderful. Micah is amazing and I love the inspiration he brings to me. His love and excitement about everything is so enjoyable. Children are so pure and innocent and their love is so pure.

I have my days where I am stressed out, but those are getting fewer and fewer. Now if we could just help Jeff get to that place, but with this job I don't think that will happen.

6 Weeks for Phase 1

I checked and phase 1 took me 6 weeks. I am so happy with my progress so far. I can't wait to see how much I can lose in the next 4 weeks. That is how long phase 2 is.

I am going to my In-Laws this weekend and I can't wait to see the reaction to my transformation.

I'm still not in my pre-preggo clothes, but I will be soon. I know it! I am hoping that I will break the 200's in this next phase also.

This journey is hard! But it is so exciting too.

Pictures End Phase 1

After Phase 1

Blah

Today I am in a weird head-space. I feel as if I am getting sick, that same kind of feeling. Today I finished workout A of phase 1 and Saturday I will be completely finished with Phase 1. I will post pictures either Saturday, but probably will do it Sunday with my weigh in. I feel strong and my clothes are feeling much looser. Mostly it has been great.
Some girls were talking about me at the gym today. It really got under my skin for some reason. I don't like being judged and they were judging me. They don't know me, they don't know my goals or what I have been through already. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it has.
I am looking forward to just doing cardio next week. I am thinking I am going to swim in the mornings and go for long walks in the afternoon(weather permitting). Also, I want to do my Pilate's video at least 3 times a week. When I did it before I could see a major difference in my mid-section and my pooch.
April I am going to visit my best friend and she hasn't seen me since Micah was 2 months old. I want to really blow her away with all my progress. Plus I feel like I am way behind where I should be. I know that it doesn't matter how long it takes to get the weight off as long as I do it. I just really want to look good now. Who doesn't right!? I guess that is why the weight-loss industry is a multi-billion dollar industry.
I have started some new routines with Micah. He doesn't go to bed with a bottle anymore. I am introducing him to the potty. He is eating more pureed foods. The TV is off during the day. I feel that all these things will help me and him.

Awakening

I have had a few major awakenings in my life. Spiritual, emotional, and physical. My physical awakening is what I am currently going through. I have said it before but this journey to weight loss is different than any other time before. Something inside me just clicked and I started thinking differently than I had in the past.

I realize that the weight loss is a goal, but eating healthy and physical activity is a part of everyday life. I have a large frame and I need to focus on my diet and physical activity moreso than others. I need to learn good habits, so I can teach good habits to Micah. Micah is really why this is so important. He needs to learn at a young age great habits that will make him successful throughout his life.

So good please watch. LONG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

This is so motivational and inspiring.

Thought of the day!

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable.
- Seneca

1 Week Left!

Well, I have one week left of Phase 1 of my training. Next Friday I will be taking pictures and I can't wait to see my progress. I can feel my progress, but it will be great to SEE my progress. Jeff noticed this morning. He said 'Babe turn around, WOW you really have lost a lot of weight.' That made my day! I want to make him so proud. I want to look good for him and for me. I want to be a healthy and fit mom. I want to be able to go to the park and play with Micah and not feel like a fat cow. I don't think people look at me and think 'that girl is so fat' , but they also don't think 'wow she looks great'. I want to be one of those moms that has a great physique. I see them all the time and I think 'they look healthy and happy'. I'm happy, now I just need to work on the healthy part. hahaha.

I don't know how long it will take to get there, but everyday I am getting closer. Everyday I improve myself and get stronger. Life is about progression and self discipline. If I am not moving forward with that, then I am moving backwards. I hope that I can always move forwards with my progression. That goes for every aspect of my life.

Mindless Eating

I just finished reading Mindless Eating by Brian Wansink. It was really really good. It help me realize why I eat and help me to cut out extra calories that eat. Not to mention that I will not be getting popcorn from the movie theater ever again. It is one that you should pick up and read. Gives lots of great tips.

I am the gatekeeper because I am the grocery shopper. This means my families health can be influenced by what I buy.

So much to do, so little time

I am working on the W.O.W. Sisters and also a get to know you book for the Sister's in the ward. The book will have a head shot of each person and a few things about them. This way when you are new and you get various assignments you can put a face to a name. It will also help with fellowshiping each other because we each will know more about each other. On top of that I am the Visiting teaching coordinator, so a little computer time for me at the church.

At home I need help organizing. I have piles of things everywhere and I just don't know how to look more put together and less cluttered. I think mabey once it warms up I will be better able to think about this. I seem to run on sunshine and warmth. hahahha.

My training is going AWESOME! I can't wait for my updated pictures in two weeks. I still have a long way to go, but knowing that I am making progress makes me so happy. Sexy is coming back, baby!

Micah is getting so smart. He is almost 9 months and I wonder where that time has gone. He makes me laugh everyday. His personality is so great. I know we are going to have such a great time while he grows up.

I really have to focus on Jeff's nutrition for the next 2 months. He has to lose 15 lbs to be at his ok weight for the Marine Corps and if I wait any longer to help him he is going to be so stressed out that I won't be able to handle him. I really need to get better about healthy meals all the time in our house. I want to teach that to Micah too.

I have to remember slow and steady wins the race. I just get so overwhelmed and time goes by so fast. Oh man!

Birthday

For my birthday I weighed in at 203. Down 2.8 lbs since the last weigh in. I am so going to beat Jeff at losing 15 lbs. I LOVE my training and I have added swimming for my cross-training/cardio. I love doing laps and I hate the treadmill, so it ends up being a good swap. Plus, my body really responds to swimming. With the weight training and the swimming I should be good to go by summer. I am hoping to be in my pre-preg clothes by Easter. I am closer than ever and I think I can do it.
My attitude is still good. I had a few bad days last week, but I talked with Jeff and he helped me through them. I'm ready to conquer the world again.

Church Idea The W.O.W. Sisters

W.O.W. = word of wisdom group, treating our bodies like the temples they are. It would be for sisters that want to clean up their diet, work on their fitness, and learn how to teach their families the same principles, all with the help of our Heavenly Father and scriptures. Plus, mabey some fashion tips. Natalie Kock is a trainer and Holly Broadbent is currently doing her internship for nutrition. Cassandra Suit-Smith for fashion mabey? I think we could find a few more people in the woodwork that would help the group tic too. I need to talk to Natalie and Holly and see if it something they would even be interested in doing. Plus, I need to pass it through the Relief Society Pres to get their approval. I think this idea is a keeper!!!

Sore

I am so sore today. I am now half way through phase 1 of The New Rules of Lifting for Women training. I am noticing huge changes physically and I have almost doubled my lifting weight. Yesterday, I was doing dumbbell shoulder press with 22.5 dumbbells and you could see all the muscles in my arms! I can't wait to get my body fat % down more so I can see the muscles and shaped arms all the time.
I know I need to focus on my diet. I need to clean it up and the weight will drop. I know what to do, it is just a matter of doing it. I do good for a while and then I get bored, tired, or start to crave bad foods.

I have busted out the stevia and I am going to bake some bread. Sunday I am going to put together a bunch of recipes that I can pull from to make healthy dinners. Jeff needs it just as much as I do.

This weight is not going to beat me! I am going to conquer my weight loss!

Quote of the Day: Einstein

Albert Einstein "The significant poblems we face cannot be solved at he same level of thinking we were at when we created them."

Not 10 but 15 lbs

Jeff and I are going to up the anty to 15 lbs. We weighed in on Sunday and the stats are Jeff: 195.8 Nat: 205.8. I am looking forward to beating him and getting the golf clubs. I am seeing a difference in my body from the heavy lifting. I am getting tighter and firmer. All of the saggy parts are getting nice and firm, which is awesome! I want to get my weight down, but it is just as important to have strong muscles. Whichever order that comes in, I don't care, as long as it happens. I can't wait for summer to show off my new body.

New pictures will be posted in about 2 weeks, so look forward to that. hahaha. I'm sure I won't be that happy with them, but I am hoping to see some changes in my body. I LOVE to SEE results, not just feel them.

I still love my program. I am upping my cardio to see if I can drop some of the weight. Today will be a 60 min cardio day.

Thought of the day:
What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it.Alexander Graham Bell

10 lb Challenge!

So Jeff (my hubby) and I have challeged each other to a 10 lb weight loss. It has to be real weight, no cheating like sitting in the sauna. Weigh in is Sunday, first one to goal wins new golf clubs! YAY! It will be very interesting because Jeff really wants golf clubs and I really want to beat him. =) So Sunday you will get the downlow.

Tape Measure

I can't find my stupid tape measure anywhere. I really liked it too. I have to go get another one today because it is driving me so crazy. Hopefully I can find another one like it. I liked it because it retracted. It wasn't just a long 5 ft wadded up tape measure, it was compact and wonderful....so sad =(.

V-Day

My new workout is going great! I am feeling it all over my body. I ache all over, but in a good way. I know that my body is changing and getting better and the pain is just weakness leaving the body right. Well today is Valentine's Day and Jeff and I are going to a nice dinner without Micah! Wow, I can't tell you how long it has been since that has happened.

Stronger

Those before pictures scare me, but it also motivates me. I am not anywhere close to where I want to be, but I am also not as large as I was a few months ago. Everyday I get stroger. I am even getting better at push ups which is one of my goals.

Pictures

Pictures always help motivate me. I like to see where I am and where I have come from. It helps me set my path for the future. With that said these are pictures of me as of today.

I feel that I am going to stick to this. Now is my time. Time to be the amazing beautiful person on the outside that is the same as the inside.

New Trainer

So it was my first day with my new trainer The New Lifting Rules for Women. Let me just say holy cow! I feel it. I am excited to see my results in 4 weeks. I got my training down now I just have to work hard in the gym and focus on not over/under eating. Plus drink lots of water. Man it is kind of overwhelming. I can't wait for it to become second nature and I won't have to think so hard about my eating.

Wish me luck!

The New Rules of Lifting For Women

This book is going to change the way I workout and train. When I was reading the book it really just made sense. I had been searching for something to help me get back into training hard and everything I was coming across just didn't seem right for me. Then I was parusing one of the fitness boards I am a member of and people were reveiwing the book. After reading their comments and looking the book up online I realized it was exactly what I had been looking for. I bought the book yesterday and am finished already. I plan on starting the routine tomorrow and I can't wait.

I have always felt that fitness and eating should fit into your life individually and should make sense for you. No two people are the same and so why should eating and fitness be taught the same for everyone. General training is good for people to start to learn to listen to themselves, but as I get older I am learning to listen to body, spirit, and mind a little more.

No longer a Vegetarian....for now
I have decided that the vegan, veggie life isn't for me right now. Mabey later, mabey not. I added seafood last month and chicken back this month. I feel that I can be healthy and choose healthy meats to feed my family. It is so much more complicated than I am writing but for now this is my choice.

Scary a Before Picture

Granted this is just out of the shower, no makeup, hair not done, but I'm not talking about that. I am talking about my son being 7 months old and I still look like this! I am on my road to change and fitness, but I just can't believe that it has taken me so long to realize that I need a big change and I need it now.

I lost 5 lbs last week, and if my scale is correct I lost 3% body fat!!! The body fat is huge. So lets all hope for a 5 lb weight loss this week. My goal is to weigh in at 198 on Saturday for the Kmart weigh in.

I met a wonderful chika at the gym last week in Step class. Then I ran into her today her name is Charlotte. We talked about our goals and I am excited to see her succeed. She seemed a little down on her luck. We are going to go to Step class together each week.

Kmart Challenge

So Kmart is having a weight loss competition and I entered it! It is a chance to win $10,000 and get a makeover. Two things I love!! Not to mention losing the weight and getting my body back. I am really excited about it. I really feel that I am going to win the grand prize. I am motivated and prepared. Now I just have to do it, which is the hard part, but with $10,000 on the line I know that will keep me motivated.

Every two weeks we weigh in. My first weigh in was 209.8 lbs. My goal by April 5th is 160. That is close to 50 lbs in 12 weeks. I know I can do it. They do it on Biggest Loser all the time, so now it is time for me to be a big loser! I will try to get some pictures up to show before and progress.

Sunday 1ST Weigh in........

Weight:206
size 16/18 bottom
14/16 top
mood: low self esteem, irritable, depressed

Goals for the week:

Drink 90 oz of water a day

Spend 3 hours a day in the gym.

Go to one class at the gym 6 times a week.

Keep food journal with portions in mind

Quote of the day

There cannot be success without failure. I have failed in the past. It is time now to succeed.



This is the back that I want to work for:

http://www.t-nation.com/img/photos/jamieEasonExperience/image007.png

Goal of 50 LBS

It is that time of year, RESOLUTION time. This is the year of fabulousness time. I am going to find my inner diva and bring her to the surface. I will start with my water intake. You can't lose weight unless you drink plenty of water.

So my goal is 90 oz a day.

It might take me all year to lose 50 lbs, it might take me shorter. It doesn't matter how long as long as I am making progress I will feel great. I hope by spring I can start wearing my old clothes and mabey by summer I can start to buy new ones. That would be wonderful!!!!

I don't know if anyone reads this, but if you do please help me to stay motivated and leave a little hello or something. It will help me by knowing that other people know what I am doing. Plus, I am trying to be completely honest with this blog. No bull, just the thoughts going on in my head. Down and Dirty. Sunday will be my stats day. I will log in my weight and plan for the coming week.

I look forward to the most beautiful and healthy me ever.