Awkward

That is how I felt as I worked out tonight in a gym full of young, fit, marines. I felt completely out of place. Not to mention it was nearly impossible to get on any kind of squat bar because they were using it as a bench rack. Made no sense to me. There are 2 squat racks and maybe 10 bench racks, why can't they just use the bench racks so us squatters can squat :) So I used the linear hack press. That was amazing! I like it so much more. I can focus on my leg muscles.

Rant over. Here is to many more days of feeling awkward, until the awkward goes away and pride and joy resumes.

2011 is Around the Corner

Well, 2011 is around the corner and after talking to my husband it is going to be a very lonely year. We will see each other for probably a total of 2 months because of deployment and pre-deployment stuff. BOO! My energy will be focused on losing this weight once and for all and keeping the kids and I sane while Daddy is gone.

I am starting this week, today in fact. I threw out all the holiday leftover candy and food. I am focused and ready to hit the gym tonight.

The Plan:
1 to 2 hour workout with Heidi in the morning
Afternoon walk/jog with Carmen
Evening weight lifting/gym time alone

The Food:
I am going to eat as close to whole as possible. Cutting out the sugar and refined foods. Eating portion correct sizes.

I am still a little sick, but I am so stir crazy from staying home for the last 2 months with a sick family and self. I am ready to go, move, get it.

Weigh ins will be weekly.
Pictures will be random.
Measurements will be monthly.

My first milestone of the year will be in March for my 30th birthday. I am excited to see what kind of changes I can achieve by then.

Changes Coming

This is going to be a very personal, very real journey to health. It is going to include the good, bad, and the very ugly. I am ready to be on the outside how I feel on the inside, simpy fabulous :)-

I will give you all the detail soon, but wanted to let you know that the journey is a go........

SICK!

Well, last time I posted was about the same time my kids were getting sick and we are still sick, me included! I was able to keep it off for a while but now I am completely and totally in the thick of it!! It is horrible. As soon as we think we are getting better and it is safe to be social again, someone else comes home with something.

Anyway, I have a plan and a friend of mine that I have met here, we intend to start as soon as the holidays are over and we are all better. Which I hope the all better comes before the holidays are over because at this point I feel that my sweet little girl will have a horrible first Christmas.

Please pray for us, and our surrounding friends because it seems to have hit us all.

Do It

Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today because you never know what tomorrow holds!

Unpluged

I am taking a temporary hiatus to catch up on some things around the house and to 'unplug' myself from the computer. :)

Also, I am going to figure out how this blog can be more useful to me and have a better purpose.

Thanks for staying with me and I will be back soon! Newer and better!!

Natalie

That's what I'm Talking About

Yesterday I got the urge! You know that urge to get out there and run or exercise because you missed a couple days. I have been consistent and pushing myself hard and then we took the weekend off because of the holiday and Monday morning was craziness, so I didn't get to go on my morning walk/run. By the afternoon I was so itchy for my run that I just had to stop everything put the kids in the stroller and go! LOVE IT! I have always wanted that feeling back and the only way to get it is to be consistent and like what you are doing.

I haven't had that feeling for a long long time. Since before kids. I think even before I was married. It feels nice to have it back and know that I am doing the right thing and on a good path for success.

So here is to the itchy feeling of staying on track :)

November 1st

Hello November,

I welcome you with open arms. I know that this month is going to be awesome! My weight has gone up and down in October, but I fit into more jeans. So that means the inches are coming off. I really do need to measure myself! (That will be a November goal).

November, you are filled with holiday time and food time. Please be good to me and help me stay focused on my goals.

1-Measure myself :)
2- Keep studing for the NSCA-CPT
3-Lift 2-3 times a week
4-Run/walk 6 times per week
5-Get the water flowing (I have been horrible at this the past month)
6-Write food in journal

I am on super sugar overload from last nights trick or treating escapdes. I felt so sick last night when I went to bed. Must not do that again.

Ok November, you think you can keep up? Ready or not here we gooo............................

Traffic

I am grateful to be home safe tonight. It is crazy driving around town today and I feel like making it home safely was a miracle :)

Here where we live there is a HIGH amount of 18-19 year old male drivers. Most of them drive like they own the road and are very very aggresive behind the wheel. I usually don't go out during high traffic periods.

We carved pumpkins tonight and we are getting ready for trick or treating tomorrow :) The kids will look so darn cute, can't wait.

Killin It!

So, I have been getting down to business and working out hard this week. Now to just stay consistent and I will see my results!!

I have 131 days to my 30th birthday. I want to make each one count and reach my goals I set for this year. Part of that is getting my weight down to a great happy healthy weight.

18 weeks! I can do this!!

I just have to say I am so sore! My muscles needed help for sure. I have started The New Rules of Lifting for Women again (I did this after my son was born). I am also walking/running everyday. I am enjoying the running and want to make it a lifelong activity. I can see races in my future, maybe a marathon one day. I am also doing some cardio videos at home in the afternoons during my daughters nap.

I am itching to get busy with something and I keep getting side tracked. I have to stay focused and stay on track with the goals I have set already. I see the bigger picture and I want to be there already, but I won't be able to get there without the baby steps. I need to remember that!!

So, What am I doing and focusing on right now?
1. Studying for The National Strength and Conditioning Certified Personal Training exam. I am expected to take this by the end of the year, so I can help others just in time for New Years resolution time.
2. Getting my weight down and increasing my strength.
3. Organizing and keeping the house kept.
4. Increasing my spiritual relationship with God by reading everyday
5. keeping my relationship with my family strong.

I feel good right now, not overworked and I need to keep it that way. I, like alot of women, over schedule myself and I am trying to avoid this.

So, here is to keeping it consistent, staying positive, and KILLIN IT!

Friends

I am extremely grateful for good friends and laughter today! Life is better with friends, isn't it?!

Coconut Oil

WHERE HAVE I BEEN???? Seriously, the stuff is amazing! I am just learning about it and using it. Tonight I didn't have enough butter to make cookies for my son as an afternoon Friday snack. I was thinking okay, I don't have shortning because it is crap and I just got home from the market, what am I going to use that will work. Then it occured to me that I had a jar of coconut oil/butter. I looked at the jar to see if it would convert equal parts for baking and sure enough it does. The cookies turned out AMAZING!

It is good in cooking because the high heat doesn't change the lipids into transfats. It is good for hair and skin topically. I am just learning about all the great uses, but I am excited to add this to my arsenal of good general use items.

Check it out, if you haven't already. If you have and you have more tips, I would love to hear them!!

Freedom

Today I am grateful for being able to help people when I can and my freedom to do the things I want to do when I want. This comes from my husband staying with the kids, the country we live in and the lifestyle in which my family lives.

I was able to drop everything and go help a friend and I was so happy to do so!

Pre-School

Today(well everyday) I am grateful for my son's preschool. He is already starting to talk better and behave better. I am glad that the little amount of education that this country has includes people who want to help young kids with their delays. I would be lost without it!

Ah Ha!

I had one of those moments this morning. I feel so good and I want to write about it before this feeling melts away. I realized that the reason I have been losing and gaining these 10 lbs is because I am not focusing on changing for my life. I was doing short term things and then thinking I could go back to bad habits and that the weight would continue to come off. Well we all know how that works.

I do want to lose this weight and keep it off. I do want to be healthy and keep bad foods out of my diet. Here is the thing that struck me: The bad foods aren't going anywhere! They will always be around!! BUT I can choose to eat them or not. AND I don't have to stay away from them forever. Once in a while is fine and while I am not in a healthy state very rare will I eat them. This is how it works. This is REAL LIFE.

My REAL LIFE right now: I can't get to the gym, I have a baby. SO I am going for jogs in the morning and doing things I can do. I'm done with the excuses, I'm taking responsibility for my actions and I am doing something about it. It is my time to take charge of my life.

Thank you Heavenly Father for helping me put it all together!

For some of you, you may be thinking 'where have you been' but for me this is my breakthrough. The MOTIVATION I have been lacking. The WHY behind it all. Everyone has to have that breakthrough moment in their struggle. I feel like I have finally found mine. Let's see where it takes me..............................

Jogging Stroller

Today I am extremely grateful for my jogging stroller. It enables me to get out and exercise with my baby and clear my head and be able to think in the breaking dawn moments of the morning. Thank you jogging stroller!

By being grateful for my stroller it in turn makes me grateful for my husband who bought the stroller for a super deal for me.

Gratitude

I am truely blessed and it is time to start focusing on the positive and blessings in my life. Everyday I will make a gratitude post. I think this will help me with my energy and motivation and remind myself what is really important in life.

Today I am grateful that the bus was 5 minutes late so Micah didn't miss it. :)

Disarray

Our country is in complete disarray and needs to be completely overhauled! This housing issue is a mess, the bloated salaries of politicians are insane, and as people we have become cold and heartless towards each other.

There are people out there that can't even meet their NEEDS and then the lazy people ruin it for the ones who actually need help. Taxing is not the answer and I don't have the answer. I feel like America needs to bring all their resources home (troops) and restructure everything. Educate and teach Americans how to survive on their own and be more self sufficient. Learn to take care of each other again.

This is my humble opinion

Passion

A few days ago I came across this great quote and come to find out it was from the all powerful OPRAH :)

"Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you."

I agree with this 100%! I am taking this advice and running with it. When I talk about health or toxic free living I get so excited and feel like I could go on and on and on. I need to focus on these things and learn more and incorporate them into my life more with the people around me.

I have found on iTunes U free lectures from colleges on nutrition and dietetics. So while I am in the car I listen to the class lecture just like I would if I was in the class. I LOVE IT! I'm so nerdy, but I love it. I have already learned more and started to remember more, and remembering is my biggest issue.

When I head back to school, I don't want to just pass my classes with good grades. I want to learn as much as I possibly can! I want to know it all, so any little help I can get before I get back to school is great.

What excites you? What are you passionate about??

I AM (the meaning of turning 30)

I was inspired by this song. It really spoke to me and I figured out why turning 30 is so fabulous, it is because you finally learn to love yourself. This song I imagined singing to myself. Here are the lyrics and hopefully I can get the feed up for the song.


Christina Aguilera I Am lyrics

I am timid
And I am oversensitive
I am a lioness
I am tired and defensive
You take me in your arms
And I fold into you
I have insecurities
You show me I am beautiful

Love me or leave me just take it or leave it
It's not that I'm needy just need you to see me
Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental
And I have imperfections
And I am emotional
I am unpredictable
I am naked
I am vulnerable
I am a woman
I am opening up to you

Love me or leave me, just take it or leave it
It's not that I'm needy, just need you to see me
Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands
I'm asking you to take me just the way that I am

Please lay down your arms
Do you know me?
Make me feel safe from harm

Oh just take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental
And I have imperfections
And I am emotional
There'll be no more pretending

Compost Goal

Started our compost pile today! I am using an old can that formula came in for the kitchen scraps. This is nice because it has a lid and can hold most of the days food scraps. I will have to take some pictures so I can show you the process.

For now we are just doing a pile, not a bin. Once I find a 'bin' that I can get for free or pretty cheap then I will probably do that so I can use my good soil when I want and not have to dig to the bottom of the pile.

YAY! One more thing on my checklist going!

October 1st

I just realized that it is October 1st. In celebration of that day (it is no special day really just the first of the month) I am going to see how much I can do in 30 days!

1st- I ordered part of my study material for the National Strength and Conditioning Association to get my personal training certificate.

2-I have eaten well all day today.

3- water intake is going good today as well.

4-I feel good!

ok, that's it.

What are you going to achieve this month??

Adjusting, New Routines, and Finding My Rhythm

Well I haven't lost anymore weight, but I haven't gained. I have a plan to get on a routine and get back to being on track. Hopefully all of my crazy life happenings are over and things can settle down and I can get into a rhythm.

I was on a great website beliefnet.com reading 12 Secrets that Can Change Your Life, let me list them and then I will talk about the ones that struck me for good.
1. Be nice even when others are not
2. Inner mastery of a problem will bring a natural solution
3. Establish endurance and you will succeed at all things
4.Hurry prevents you from having inner composure
5. Sometimes you have to surrender and step back
6. Create inner certainty about reaching your goals
7. Do not spend more than you have
8. It's non of your business what others think of you
9. Always nurture your best qualities
10. Your determination will take you the distance
11. The more you know, the better you are
12. Be your own best source of happiness

Isn't that a great list! If you want to read more click the link http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/2010/08/Secrets-that-Can-Change-Your-Life.aspx?p=13

#2 was great for me. I do have a inner struggle with all my challenges. If I can master myself on the inside the other things will just fall into place.

#4 was a slap in the face! I do feel hurried all of the time and it makes me feel frazzled and put kids in the mix of that and you get crazy Mommy! If I can calm down on the inside I will be able to take the hiccups on the outside. I feel like this is easier said than done though!

#6 bam! there it was!!!! Let me be honest, with this weight loss stuff I always set a plan, stick to it for a while and then I start to self sabotage and it is because I don't really believe that I will achieve my goal. I have failed so many times before. I mean how many times on this blog alone have I started and stopped. I'm sure it is annoying to others, just as it is to me. I use to be so sure of myself and so arrogant (not really but that is the term that came to mind) about who and what my abilities are. I have lost that in the mix of marriage, kids, and life in general. I NEED that back because I know that I am a lot more Bad Ass than I give myself credit for.

#8 I love it!

#9 this is such a good one because so many times in my life people have taught me to work on my weakness' and by doing that I have put my strengths and best qualities to the side. Somewhere in the last year I read or heard someone say something to the effect of strength your strengths and let go of your weakness'. I really liked that! Focusing on just my weakness was making me feel like a failure. I think it takes a good balance of strengths and weakness so you don't get discouraged easily and you can get over the hurdles easier.

#11. Love this one too!!

#12 this is something I am working on now! I had this before I got married and then with marriage I thought that I had to sacrifice my happiness for the greater good, if that makes sense. My husband has been helping me realize that he married me because of who I was and he wouldn't ever want to change me, and that I should never sacrifice my happiness for anything. This is hard for me because I am a giver and I will give everything for others to be happy and comfortable. It is a growing period to get back to where I was, but I know that I will be a better me because of everything.

Overall, I am happy again. I am able to speak my mind without worry of what others will think. I am setting some fabulous new goals, which I'm not quiet yet ready to post. I need to be confident inside that I am going to achieve them before I post. I feel like I am on a great path again and ready to move some mountains! I have always felt like a mover and shaker and now it's time to take action!

I will leave you with this piece of motivation: To live well is to be inspired. Today, do the things you have always said you wanted to do. It can be that simple.

Good Greif!

Anyone else watch Charlie Brown and remember that phrase?

This is how I feel today after having a conversation with, for the sake of privacy we'll call her hellraiser. Every time I talk to hellraiser, she manages to suck the wind from my sails and strums up feelings inside me that make me act exactly the opposite of how I want to act. She really pushes my buttons and says things to me that make me want to scream. I want to cut out this person from my life but it is impossible! This person will forever be in my life, so the other option is I learn to deal with how this person effects me. I have NO IDEA how that is going to happen. I may need a therapist for this one.

I have been feeling so good and now I feel so crappy! Why do people feel the need to emotionally toy with others. It's not nice!!

Friday's Weigh In

Ok, well Friday I weighed in at 211.4. Which I am okay with after all the crap and stress that happened while my Mom was here. Lets just say it didn't go well. A trip to the E.R. then tons of junk food because that is what she wanted and I just don't know how to tell her 'no' when she gets in a 'crazy' mood.

Anyway, I am back on track and already did a 2.6 mile walk this morning and doing it again this evening after dinner. The kids love the walks. That is extra motivation to get out there and do it.

Jeff arrives in a couple days and I was hoping to be farther along, but it is what it is. I know that I am on a good track and I shouldn't have to many more hiccups.

The goals I'm still working on. I want to go over a few with Jeff when he gets here so they will probably be ready by Oct. 1.

Pictures will have to wait. My home computer is messed up and I have to use the laptop which is with Jeff.

Well, that's all for now. With God ANYTHING is possible!

Support

I started a support page on facebook for a few friends. We are all on the weight loss goals right now and so we decided to do a weight watchers type support group, with weekly weigh ins and recipe swap, etc. Plus, this way we keep each other accountable and we can celebrate the successes too. If you want to join, you can. It is closed to members only so your stats and information is kept confidential. It is under common interest, health and wellness, called Perfect 10!.

So, the first weigh in is on Friday! I will be keeping this journal still and posting pictures and stats here. I will weigh in each Friday and take pictures once a month. The first set this Friday September 17. Next set will be October 17. This way I remember.

I am trying to get my routine down before Jeff gets here. That way when he comes I don't have to big of bump in my weight loss.

I am still developing and working on my other goals, but I am super excited about them and extremely motivated! Maybe I will finish them tomorrow and post them. I will see, I'm not rushing myself anymore. I am the new improved back to being me, ME. :)

Tomorrow?

In my last post I said I would be back tomorrow, well as you can see that didn't happen. Mainly because my Mom has been here visiting and that was an event to say the least. Let's just say it went badly and she left early.

I am happy to be alone again especially after all the drama that ensued. I have some great new goals, but before I post them I want to get them down on paper and make an action plan.

I like my new Ward at Church. They will never be the great people in Cincinnati that I love so much, but they look to be great in their own way.

I still like the house we are in and I have about 90% of the boxes unpacked and put away. I have some organizing in the house to do, but that will come with time. I'm not that organized so it takes me a while to figure out what I want to do. When I open the boxes that are left in the garage I put the stuff away immediately. This way I don't have stuff laying around all over. The only stuff kind of laying around are things that need to be hung up. I am waiting for JEff to get here before I hang anything.

I have stopped nursing Carmen. The stress was effecting my milk supply and she just wasn't getting satisfied anymore. She is a much happier baby now that she is on solids and a bottle. I am very happy I was able to nurse her for 6 1/2 months. I wanted to go a year, but am happy with what I got.

Micah is not wanting to potty train right now. He can do it, he just doesn't want to. So we are waiting on that again, until he is ready. He does start Pre-school in the next week or so. It is FULL day!!! Crazy to think my 3 year old will be gone from 7:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday thru Friday!! Very Crazy!!

That is all for now.Until next time. Push yourself and enjoy the journey!

Feeling Groovy

I'm back and I feel great!

We are all moved and I have a few boxes left to unpack but that will get done in due time. I have been running around with my head cut off trying to get everything done and deal with kids, ya know normal stuff.

My sister came out to help me move and while we spent our last days in Cincinnati we splurged on everything. I think I ate everything in sight. Plus, I was drinking a ton of soda. By the time I got to North Carolina I was feeling horrible. I knew I had gained because my new clothes were tight and I could see it in the mirror. I was getting really mad at myself. Why would I do that.

Then, on the 1st of September, I picked up the keys to our new place and it was like a breath of fresh air to my soul. That day my sister and I went to the grocery store and we only bought veggies and chicken. For the next couple of days we worked hard unpacking and eating right and I was off the soda. I wanted one really really bad, but I told myself to 'dig deep and be in control' It worked! I know I am a determined person when I want to be and I just had to have a very real conversation with myself and some help (my sister).

I have been able to eat really well everyday since and I did splurge and have a sweet snack with my friend the other night, but after I ate it I realized that I really do enjoy fresh fruit for a sweet and not sugar.

I feel so good!!! I feel so clean! I am eating good healthy food, not starving, and I am losing the weight!!! That is the best part. I got on the scale this morning for the first time in a while and I was back down to 211.4 lbs. I know before the 1st I was above 217!

I haven't even started exercising like I want to yet. Just doing stuff around the house and moving a lot! I haven't felt this good in a very long time. I know I am back on track and that this is the last time I will see these numbers on the scale. I am excited to see how fast I can get out of the 200's. I am really hoping it is before Jeff meets up with us on the 25th of September. He had to stay in Cincinnati and finish up.

Moving this time really did give me new life. Looking back I was EXTREMELY stressed out and probably depressed. I probably needed to be on some drugs. I feel like I am back and unstoppable. I am friendly and happy and smile every morning I wake up. I hope I can keep this feeling because it ROCKS!

The Lord is great and blesses us so much. I am so thankful everyday for the things and people I have in my life, even you Internet friends! I need you too!!

Well I have to go for now. But I'll be back tomorrow.

Can't wait to see where this adventure takes me!

1 Week left; Let the chaos begin

So the madness starts today and I won't post for a while. At least until we get settled and get internet at the new house.

Today we have to pack all the things we don't want the packers to touch and place them all together in an area that we can kind of rope off.

Tomorrow: doctor's appointments, cleaning, and my final girl's night out. We are doing SUSHI so excited about this!!

Wednesday: My sister arrives, the packers begin.

Thursday: The packers finish boxing everything

Friday: The truck comes to load up all of our stuff

Saturday: Major cleaning and possibly painting

Sunday: last day to spend as a family because Jeff won't join us for 3 weeks.

Monday: Between 3 and 4 a.m. my sister, the kids, and I start on the road for North Carolina.

Tuesday: Run massive amounts of errands getting power, water, etc for the new house. Pick up keys all that fun stuff.

Wednesday: Go to new house and moving truck arrives to drop off stuff.

I am going to miss my friends here in Ohio, but other than that I am happy to go. Looking forward to my next adventure!!

Things to do when I move

So in the mood of moving I wanted to make a written list of the things to get done at the new place.

Compost bins
garden
fit body
school
rain barrels
learn to sew
decorated home
clothes line
re purpose mirror
Potty train Micah

I am sure that I will add to this list, but there it is.

17 Days

17 days left! I have had to move up our move one day because I found out that we will not have power or water in our house and it takes 24 hours to get it turned on. This week will be filled with purging and cleaning. Also, I have to take down all the items off the walls and patch and paint. Luckily the owners left some paint in the garage so it should be easy touch up.

I feel like I am in the calm before the storm. I just have a few church responsibilities left.

Tonight I am having a girls night and it will be my last hoorah with my favorite girls. Well most of them. It is the group that has kept me sane these last 3 yrs. I will miss all of them so much. They are all so different and have such great qualities about them. I have learned so much from them and I am happy that I was blessed with such great friends. I have always been blessed with wonderful friends. I only hope that I was as good a friend back.

Christina Aguilera

I LOVE HER! As an artist that is. Seriously every album she delivers something that I need and want more of. My favorites are always the ones you don't get to hear on the radio, but I do love the ones on the radio too.

Her voice is pure talent. This new album makes me want to dance. It has given me my new vibe. The first song on my playlist GLAM, makes me want to dress up pretty and walk tall with confidence. I relate so much to her music and she will forever be my favorite artist.

So If you haven't already check out her new album and be energized by her voice and message. I know I have been.

Continued

Yes, clean and purge. Our family does that often actually, but apparently not often enough. At least maybe I need to be better about having a filing system and a place to put paperwork and important documents. I have a system, but it has failed me as I can see now.

I am not naturally organized. I am a 'piles' person. I have piles all around the house. I don't know what to do with things, I don't put them away because I use them here and there, but I also don't want it just laying around anywhere, so the pile starts.

I am much better today than I was 6 years ago when I married my husband. I was a wreck then and he is almost OCD clean.

I have come to the conclusion that I can not focus on my weight loss right now. It is not the important issue in my life right now and thinking about it is making me crazy. I need to focus on my kids and keeping myself sane. I know some of you are thinking 'well keep yourself sane by exercising everyday and eating right'. And you are right if those were my habits already, but trying to change my habits right now, just to have everything change in a few weeks. I'm just not going to do it.-there it is.

I have my whole life ahead of me and I want to enjoy myself and this may sound weird or crazy or whatever, but it makes sense to me. I will not weigh myself or worry about what I am eating. Now don't get me wrong I'm not running out to the store to stock up on donuts and ice cream and whatever else. I am still eating my vegetables, just not making myself crazy about it.

My sister is coming out to help me with the kids drive to North Carolina and I am so excited to see her. We have such a great time together and she is always up for anything like me. It is going to be so fun.

24 Days Left

How does one family collect so much stuff??? We have been cleaning out our house for the last 6 months of things we don't use/need anymore. On Tuesday I did another walk through of the house to get out more trash for trash day and I filled 3, yes 3, garbage bags full! I mean I have got to set up a better system so we don't have it just lingering around. I even consider us clean people. It is mainly just paperwork.

I can tell you right now that I know that I probably have another 2 or 3 bags full in the basement still too. I am getting rid of toys that don't work, have missing parts, or I'm just plain sick of. The kids have a moderate amount of toys, but it's like they have babies and multiply overnight. I was able to get rid of some bigger items yesterday, I LOVE CRAIGSLIST! At this point I am just giving stuff away. And I am getting it out of the house as soon as possible.

To be continued, I have to go run a errand.................

29 Days

Time is flying by. HOLY MOLY.

I had two days of bad eating, no time for exercise, and little sleep.

I went for a run this evening and am headed to bed to catch up, well as a new mom you never really catch up, but at least get a good nights rest.

So my exercise routine is now going to consist of walks and runs because our Y memebership expired and it won't be renewed. Anyway, I'm okay with just putting the kids and going because in NC that is how it will be too. So better to get use to it now, right.

So, tomorrow 4 weeks left. HOLY MOLY!

32 Days and Stressed OUT

OK, I have 32 days until we move and it is really hitting me that this is happening. This is a juggling act that I am currently involved in and all the pieces have to move just right for me to continue this juggle.

I am getting things done and organized but I am having to rely on other people to do their jobs and waiting is no fun. I am not a sit around and wait kind of person. When I am working on something I like things to get done and answers quickly. I still have tons to schedule and I can't do any of that until I have more solid dates. I HATE BEING LAST MINUTE.

This is why I have Plan A, Plan B, and Plan I don't know exactly but somehow it will work.

One a POSITIVE note Tomorrow starts a scripture read-a-thon for our young women. We are reading all day Friday and Saturday. I am very excited about this and I know the girls are looking forward to it too. I'm needing a good spiritual lift with all the chaos going on around me.

I haven't been sleeping at night for the last week because of Carmen. I thought she was teething and that is why she was getting up every 2 hours at night. Come to find out, she is just hungry and needing more than just breast milk. I had no idea. Today I fed her rice cereal twice and I am hoping that will help her get back to sleeping through the night. I REALLY need some good sleep.

That's all for now, I have lots to say, but things I need to do are more important right now.

Not Your Momma's Egg Sandwich

I love to cook and create in the kitchen. I have never been good at art, but have always felt like in the kitchen I could express myself like others do with drawing or painting. Last night I wanted something cold to eat for dinner and wasn't in the mood to stand over the hot stove. So I came up with this awesome Egg Salad Sandwich. I just started pulling things out of my fridge and this is what it looks like, and it tasted AMAZING!

I started with Whole Wheat Bread, added Avocado, Cucumbers, mushrooms, and then topped the veggies with Romaine. The other side had 2 eggs, a little mustard, mayo, salt, and pepper. Let me say that the avocado, egg mix was so good, and the lettus and cucumbers gave it great crunch. The mushrooms were lost in it all, so I probably wouldn't add them again, unless I am just trying to get in as many veggies as possible.

Organic and 34 Days

I am a huge supporter of buying organic food. Not feeding myself and my family a bunch of pesticides and chemicals is very important to me. There are many many more reasons out there (the Internet) you can research them, but here is some food for thought for ya:


If a bug doesn't want to eat the food, why would you??


Anyhow, support your local farmer, join a community supported agriculter (CSA), or check out your local Coop. From the mouth of Micheal Pollan "Eat food, mostly plants, not to much."


My day has been ok. I am very tired! Carmen is having sleeping issues because of teething; therefore I am not getting much rest at all. I did a 30 minute plyometrics workout and hopefully I can go for a run once the kids go to bed tonight.



All this exercise has been great for the 'spark' in my marriage. My husband has been walking around with a smile on his face lately. :) One more reason to incoperate exercise into my day.

stats

NROLW A Day

Squats: bar+20#/12 reps, 25#/12 reps, 30#/12 reps

Pushups: 6 rung/12 reps, 6 rung/12 reps, 5 rung/10 reps
Seated Row: 65#/12, 65#/12, 70/12

step ups: 10#/12, 10#/12, 15#/12
Prone Jackkinfe: 8, 8, 8

I am really tired. I was going to go on a run tonight but it's not going to happen. I don't want to completly burn out! Making good progress looking forward to my results at the end of the month.

TOMORROW'S PLAN:
Plyometrics X and a run. I was going to do spin class but our membership at the YMCA is on hold until Jeff fills out the paperwork again.

I will run in the morning and do Plyo when the kids are napping.

35 Days

Have already done a 1.6 mile walk this morning, diet on, motivation in check!

Headed to the gym to do some lifting which I will report later.

Feeling good, feeling like I am going to make it

36 Days

Thanks to Heather, a fellow blogger, recommending a post by one of her blogger friends Keely. She had a post about her success and how she did it. And of course it was all about JUST DO IT! True words that I needed to hear. It was well written and so matter of fact, just the way I like.

The past 4 days have been pretty good. I am eating well and have been able to get in at least 20 min of specific exercise each day. I am enjoying my jogging and now have incorperated our stairstepper because it is soooo HOT. We had a Heat WARNING yesterday. Not the kind of weather you take your baby out in, no matter how bad I wanted to go out and run.

Still at 213 but I know I won't be there long. This week I plan to do extra activities because I have an activity all day Friday and Saturday with the young women in our church. So, I won't be able to get in my exercise and my food will be controlled by others. I will just make sure not to over eat and keep my food in portion control. I'm looking forward to this activity, it is to help the girls build their spiritual food bank.

No Excuses, JUST DO IT! that's my motto for the next 36 days and beyond.........................

Purpose

So I feel like my greatest purpose in life is in the direction of nutrition and holistic health. Over time I have been pulled in that direction and it is the thing I am most passionate about. I love educating people and talking to people starting the first step to a better life. It energizes me so much. I feel like I keep having these 'ah ha' moments that seem to make sense to me and put another piece of the puzzle together for me.

My dearest friend and I feel the need to work together. We have great energy together and feed off each other really well. We have talked of many different things to do together, but all of them have not been on either of our paths. It would require us to both change complete directions. BUT today I kind of had an 'ah ha' moment and things started to make sense and so I foresee in the future Jen and I doing some truly remarkable things. I told her that as soon as I move to North Carolina we need to get together for a SERIOUS (because when we are together nothing is serious) brainstorming and business meeting. We have this ultimate goal that we want and before this idea it really seemed beyond our reach, but now I am starting to see the building steps towards it.

I have felt so EXTREMELY blessed the past couple days. So many prayers have been answered and so many things have unfolded before me to make life more enjoyable. I realize that God speaks to me through people pretty often and that is why it is so important to keep myself surrounded with good, inspired people. I had a pretty serious dream last night, which I won't go into detail here but it really put some things into prospective for me.

Life really is about the JOURNEY!

Do something amazing today and serve with LOVE!

Day 38

Diet is off a little because I had lunch with a friend and she made the most amazing food. Fresh corn chowder, and bacon lettus tomato (me minus the tomato because of Carmen's intolerance) so yummy.

It is really hot today and I am feeling really tired. Hot and sticky, ewww. I know how to handle the dry heat of Vegas, but it seems I never get use to this humid heat. I miss Vegas in so many ways.

Going for a nice jog once the sun goes down. I am starting to enjoy these evening runs.

Day 39

Weight 213
walk 40 min
calories 1706
calories burned 362

Day 39

Weight this morning is 213

Planning on keeping my calories around 1600 and getting in a good 3 to 4 mile walk/jog.

Day 40 stats

Calories: 1650
calories burned: 255
Jog 1.6 mile 21:46

40 Days

I have 40 days until we move to Jacksonville, North Carolina. 40 days to really meet at least one goal in my weight loss battle.

I am going to focus on eating right and having a treat once a week.

My breakfasts will be oatmeal and protein powder. I choose this because of the protein content and because I LOVE it. Also, the fiber is awesome.

Lunch will be a green salad with balsamic dressing, adding some sort of bean to my salad will increase protein and fiber levels.

Snack will be piece of fruit, whatever we pick up from Trader Joe's

Dinner will be a salad and 4 0z of some sort of protein.

Sweet snack for my crazy sweet cravings will be either sugar-free jello, or a 60 cal pudding snack.

Exercise-running. I need to be preparing for the run on August 7th! I still want to do the 5K but I don't want to be horribly slow, so I need to get out everyday and walk, jog, or run.

Also, YMCA time- going swimming, lifting weights, spin class, etc. I need to use the time I have to utilize the things available to me. When I move to J-ville I will no longer have childcare available to me to go workout. So I need to start loving running and quick because it is going to be my only consistent option for a while.

Blogging everyday for the 40 days.

Weighing in everyday for the next 40 days to keep me on track. Today's weight 215, yep I went up. POOP

Paralyzed

That is how I feel right now, Paralyzed. There is alot of change currently happening and will until around October and it makes me feel completely PARALYZED.

I haven't kept to my goals, I haven't been here to update my blog or my family blog. Today I was asking myself why I feel so unmotivated to do anything because I have the same amount of time. I feel like it is because I am not very flexible. If things don't go how I see them or as planned out, then I completely stop. Now sometimes I am able to roll with the punches but it just depends on the circumstances. I need to roll with it.

Here it is the middle of JULY and I am not any closer to my JUNE goal of getting out of the 200's. I haven't been able to get back on track since I went off at vacation. Now I am feeling extremely depressed about it. I don't like being this large. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't like how clothes fit me. I don't like being asked if I am pregnant (even with a 4 month old in my arms, someone still asked me this question). I try not to let it bother me, but it does and it hurts.

I love to workout, but I don't. And of course I have excuses, but all that doesn't make me feel better. Honestly sometimes I feel so drained and tired that by the time I get the kids to bed, I don't want to plan or think about what I should be doing or need to do. I just want to sit and reset. I know that life doesn't get any easier and kids only get more needy and involved, so I need to learn how to deal with it and get going, otherwise this feeling of paralysis will only get worse.

I am feeling overwhelmed also. There is so much I want to improve on and I can always be better. Better me, wife, mom, leader, teacher, etc always room for improvement.

Work Outs day 2 & 3

Yesterday I did an hour spin class, holy moly my legs felt that for sure, especially after the squats from the previous day.

Today was workout B of NROLW

Deadlifts bar+10#/12, 15#/12, 15#/12

superset
dumbbell shoulder press 10/12, 15/12, 20/12
wide grip lat pulldown 50/12, 55/12, 60/12

superset
lunges 10/12, 15/12, 15/12
swiss ball crunches 10, 10, 10

After my workout my whole body was shaking. I pushed myself hard today. Playing with the kids today was hard because my muscles were so fatigued.

I am making sure to take a protein recovery drink after lifting days. I have found a really yummy mixture that I look forward to.

Tomorrow I will take off and just do something active with the family and Sunday will be a recovery day with walking with the family.

New Rules Of Lifting For Women DAY 1

I was not motivated to restart P90X again so I started a program that I know I love again. The New Rules of Lifting for Women. I am going to incorperate running too so I can get ready for the two 5K runs I am doing.

Here is what I did today

Squats bar plus 10#/12 reps, 15#/12 reps, 20#/12 reps

alternating
push ups 60 degree angle BW/12, BW/12, BW/12
seated row 60/12, 65/12, 65/12

alternating
step ups 5/12, 10/12, 10/12
prone jackknife 8, 8, 8

Going on a 3 mile walk/jog after lunch taking the kids to the park and library.

Unmotivated

I have every tool possible to achieve success with my weight, except the one you Have to Have, SELF CONTROL.

I continue to self sabotage and now I have lost my motivation to go downstairs and do my workout. I know that the program works and that all I have to do is do it. I know what I should be eating and not eating, yet all I do is eat what I shouldn't. I have goals, but I don't do the things to meet them. What is causing me to be like this?

Waking up early to workout is not happening! No matter what I plan or anything, I am just to tired in the morning to get up any earlier.

I know that if I just focus on my diet then I don't have to worry so much about my workouts. As easy as that sounds, it's not.

This is my constant battle, I hope one day I can find some sort of balance and happiness, but for now it is still my battle.

To Do List

So, last week was productive, I was able to check off a bunch of things from my to do list. The stress is coming down. AHHHHHHHH

Sunday's Talk

How Being Obedient has Helped My Life

How many of you have lost weight, have tried to lose weight, or wanted to become healthier? As I thought about my topic, I was trying to think of a specific situations where being obedient has helped my life; and I thought for me it isn’t one gospel principle that helps me, it’s all of them. It isn’t one Christ like characteristic, it’s all of them. Much like becoming healthy, it isn’t cutting out one thing that will make the difference; it is the combination of a bunch of small things.

Let me explain myself a little deeper. I grew up in the church, but I veered off track because I thought that I provided my own happiness. While I was on that alternate path making bad choices and breaking God’s commandments, which at the time I thought were fun and happy, ultimately left me feeling very alone and lost and there was no joy or purpose in my life. It was a very dark and depressing time for me.

When I decided to put Christ as the center of my life, instead of myself, that was the choice that turned me in the right direction, then I started going back to church, reading my scriptures, and praying. As I started following God’s commandments I started to feel better about life and I didn’t feel alone anymore. I felt true Joy and I LIKED it. I thought if doing these small things can make me feel this good, I wanted more! So, I read more and prayed more.

I started cutting all the temptations out of my life. I was weak, I needed to get strong. I knew that if I kept the wrong people or things in my life while I was weak I wouldn’t make it. I needed to FOCUS on CHRIST and get my spirit in the right place. I surrounded myself with people that lived high standards, went to activities that uplifted my spirit, I was exercising my sole. I was feeding my sole the GOOD stuff.

As I continued my repentance process I could feel my spirit healing. Heavenly Father was blessing me in far more ways than I could have dreamed. He blessed me with everything that I needed and wanted. I was becoming the person that I truly wanted to be. Heavenly Father was providing me with opportunities to grow and I was in tune with the spirit to fulfill those opportunities. I was building MY strong foundation, MY TESTIMONY.

My life has been so blessed and I know that all things come from God. God gives us ALL that we have. Blessings, so we can help others and do God’s will. Trials so we can grow. God gives us Free Agency so we can prove that we have what it takes and will use HIM to pass the test. (Think of life as an open book test, didn’t we all love those in school?!)

I love the scripture D&C 82:10; I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise. Right there he is telling us that if there is a specific blessing that we need or want in our life- to fulfill his commandment and he is bound to give you the blessing. Now do not misconstrue this to mean that he leaves you alone, he doesn’t, ever! Even when I was on that alternate path; But he is not bound.

This scripture has brought me so much understanding. Anytime I have a trial that I am going through and I feel that I am inadequate. I will look up the blessing I am in need of and cross reference the commandment.

Also, Jesus taught in Matthew 21: 22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

So, after I have looked up the commandment, I will pray to Heavenly Father and pour out my heart to him about my trial and let him know that I know what he commands and I am committing to him that I will be obedient to HIS word.

Every time I have done this Heavenly Father has blessed me with what I needed. It may have come in the form of inspiration while reading, a person in my life, a talk in church, a lesson, or just a comforting feeling that I am doing what I need to do and to continue to move forward.

Now it may not have been what I thought I needed, or it may not have happened the way I foresaw it happening, but HE has always pulled me through. By learning from our trials makes us into a better people and this is how we grow.

Now before you go thinking I’m perfect, I’m not, but I do understand that part of being obedient is knowing how to repent. Each day I learn more and more about our Heavenly Father and his plan for me and now for my family. It all started with my foundation and keeping my testimony strong.

You see how being obedient is like losing weight or becoming healthy. Being healthy is a combination of a bunch of small choices. Being obedient is a bunch of small choices. Every day we wake up faced with choices, and it is up to us, using the tools we have to make the right choices.

Better

So, my last post I talked about how down I was. So, I took a day off and ate what I wanted and didn't work out and just hung out with the family and played. Well all my previous work paid off because this morning I weighed in at 208.0! Yay, I was just wanting to get to 209 and I blew right past that. It re-energized me to get back to working out and tracking my meals.

Also, I tried on my pre-Carmen clothes and I found 2 more pairs of jeans I can wear, BONUS! I am really hoping that I just keep on working out and eating right and the number will just slowly keep going down, but not to slowly :). I'm just taking it 1 lb at a time because I know what my ultimate goal is but the only way to get there is 1 lb at a time.

A short term goal I would like to achieve is to get out of the 200's by the end of June. That is 8 lbs in 5 weeks. I can do that. I will just have to be vigilant while on vacation and not eat everything in sight.

So I'm feeling pretty good again. Which is where I want to stay, but I know I will have my down days along the way.

Downer

Today I am feeling down. I think it might be because I'm tired, or maybe because I see other people have HUGE results and then me, not so much. I know I am only into P90X one week, but I am just having a down day. I want to do more, but I don't have the energy. I want to see HUGE results, but I know that is not how it is going to happen for me.

I'm going to keep plugging along and stay on eating well, but right now I'm down.

I didn't want to do my workout today, but I did. I put everything I had into it too. Micah keeps interrupting my workouts and I think that is frustrating me too because I don't get ANY 'me' time. I'm feeling a bit run down and want to fill up my tanks again. I don't know what it will take to fill them up, but I know I am running low or even on empty.

I'm very stressed out with the vacation coming up, house hunting, moving, Micah's development delays, Carmen's needs, church roles, home roles. I feel myself shutting down with the each day and the added pressure. I need to start getting some things finished and crossed off my list and then I think I will feel better.

5 Days in P90X

I just finished my 5th workout with P90X and it is a very intense program. I mean Tony says that in the infomercial, but man o man I have a long way to go just to keep up with them. I am doing my best and sweating a ton. I am excited because I am already seeing results and I know it is a combination of my eating and the program.

I am realizing and internalizing the meaning of 'lifestyle' eating. It is the combination of good small everyday choices that gives you success. I'm not beating myself up for eating the wrong thing during the day, I just understand that it was just one choice and I can do better the rest of the day. Also, tracking my calories, every bite of everything I eat, really helps me make the better choices.

I am still struggling with my water intake, which is frustrating because before I had Carmen I could down a gallon of water. So, I am still working on that. I know how important water is for our bodies and it is even more important for weight loss. The good thing is I am still soda free. I think about getting a soda once in a while and then I just think about how sweet it will be and it grosses me out. I only really love soda when I have been drinking it for a while. Also, I know that it is an addiction that I struggle with so one soda could turn into a struggle to stop again.

Figuring things out

I finally busted through 210.6, only to 210.4 but I KNOW that I will just keep on losing. Yesterday for breakfast I had oatmeal with protein powder and it was HEAVEN! The protein powder I have is a vanilla that taste like ice cream, no lie. So I put the oats and protein together and stirred in enough water that I could cook the oats in the microwave and have a thick consistency. AWESOME. I will be eating this most likely every morning.

My body really responds to having a whole grain first thing in the morning and adding the protein just makes it better. I remember when I lost weight for my wedding I was eating oatmeal for breakfast, but no protein. I think that oatmeal is going to be a staple food for me for life.

Another thing I noticed last night and this morning is that 1550 seems to be my sweet spot. That is the calories I ate yesterday. I felt full and satisfied. Also, I ate most of my calories before 5 p.m. so I think I am going to try and continue to do that and have small dinners. All these small changes will hopefully show big changes on the scale.

Everyone is different and finding your own sweet spot is part of the journey.

Oh, in case you were wondering my protein powder is made by Beverly International. All of there supplements I would recommend. Ultimate Muscle Provider (UMP) is the best protein powder I have ever tried, and I have tried ALOT. their web site is http://www.bodybuildingworld.com

Honesty!

I posted this on sparkpeople but I wanted to post it here and go into more detail.

This is me; 212 lbs. I want to eventually be at 130. I have not been at that weight since I played basketball my sophomore year of high school. I'm not expecting to get there overnight, but I am hoping to be there by my 30th birthday.

I am tracking my meals and watching what I eat. I started P90x lean today. It was really hard for me to keep up, but I just did the best I could and hope to do better next time. Today was Core Synergistic, and having a C-section almost 3 months ago leaves my core very weak. My stomach is my biggest problem area, so if it sucks it back in and the fat all over goes away, I will be happy. Truly at this point I need to lose it everywhere, not just my stomach. I will finish P90X right before we move, so that is exciting.

I hope to keep walk/jog a couple times a week as well. I really like how I feel after I go for a jog. I can feel it all over, getting stronger.

I have to drink more water. I know I am not getting enough and so I am going to continue to work on that this week. Somehow, I will get it into my day.

Spark!

I joined sparkpeople this week and I am LOVING it. 1) its free 2)it has an app for my blackberry 3) I can track my water intake anywhere 4)it has awesome meal plan ideas 5)it gives me a shopping list from the meal plans 6)it has a great support system set up.

I could go on and on about it, but those are just some of the highlights. I have been doing pretty good so far. I started at 212 this week and I am down to 210. I am hoping to end the week at 209. I haven't been able to see that number yet.

Overall, I am optimistic in my weight loss journey, but I do get down sometimes. Yesterday I did for a bit. Another thing I realized is I have to stay away from certain people and websites. Whenever I am with them or at the site, I start to feel inadequate and discouraged. It isn't anything that they do, it is all me, but I need to be in a better place before I can deal with those feelings.

I have to start dealing with some of these feelings that I keep pushing down. I know that will help alot with being completly honest with myself. to be continued..............

Grrrr

Well, last week was a bust! I had two great days of staying on track with my food and then, I don't know what happened. I had soda, crap food, and minimal vegetables. Needless to say, I feel like crap actually. I feel heavy and my system feels like it needs a clean out or something.

I joined sparkpeople on suggestion from a couple of friends, but one friend blogged about the blackberry application and I was sold. I have been looking for an app for my blackberry where I could track my water intake and fitness, but it also does calories. It is pretty awesome! As soon as I joined I committed to make today a better day. So, I am following the meals. I already went grocery shopping and the meal plans are on the fridge. I am looking forward to some of the meals, they are things that I like and just haven't eaten in a while. It should be good.

As far as my workouts are going, I had a bit of a scare on Friday. I was in the middle of my workout, mid-pull on the row machine and I felt a 'pop' in my head on the left side. As soon as that happened I had a HUGE migraine and blurred vision. I have NEVER had anything like this happen to me before and I have been lifting for over 15 years. I got the kids from the nursery and went to the car to call my hubby. I was freaked out. Jeff came to the YMCA to check on me and make sure I was ok. I didn't want to rush to the hospital, I wanted to feel it out. He gave me some Motrin and I just kept on drinking water. My vision came back so I decided I could drive home and if I started to get worse I would just call Jeff at work or 911 depending on how I felt. Luckily, I started feeling better during the day. I'm a bit hesitant to get back to lifting, so I think I am going to focus on my cardio for a bit.

Last week I started running a little on my walks and so I am going to start incorporating more running. Along with running I am going to do some videos at home.

Vacation is a month away and I am so far from where I want to be, but I know I don't want to be here when we go either. I just need to keep trekking forward. My goal is to get out of these size 18 pants and into 16. that will open up a lot more wardrobe options for me as well.

Watching what I Eat

This week starts strict dieting. Jeff and I are doing South Beach Diet together. 2 weeks without carbs and then only whole grain after that with a few low sugar fruits re-introduced.

My workouts are going great. My muscles are sore but it is a good sore. I am keeping really active and hope to see some weight loss this week with a my diet change.

I haven't lost any weight. In fact I'm pretty sure I have gained. Today I weighed in at 214. boo considering I was at 210 a few weeks ago and I wanted to be at 202 by this week according to my goals set right after having Carmen.

I can't change the past only the future. I am striving to be better everyday.

Life

Life with two little ones is so crazy. There is so much I want to journal about but I just don't have the time.

I am doing The New Rules of Lifting. After I had Micah I did The New Rules of Lifting for Women. I am liking the original it is very similar to the women's version. I am expecting to see some great results at the end of phase 1. When I did the women's version I saw GREAT results. I am going to finish the whole thing this time though. I didn't last time. ok that's all I have time for Carmen's up.

Recommited

Yesterday started my new workout program. The first phase will last between 4 and 5 weeks. Two days down and I am super sore but super energized! I have cut the soda cold turkey and I'm only 2 days clean, but usually when I quit soda cold turkey I don't crave it again, unless I taste it again. I am watching my calories and staying between 1400-1600 calories a day.

I am re-motivated and feeling good and enjoying the good food that is so good for my body. I am really into green salads right now. When I say 'green' I mean green!

Fresh cut romaine lettus, cucumbers, avocado, green onions, spinach, green olives(sometimes), and my one non-green ingredient mushrooms. All that topped with homemade ranch dressing (the only kind of ranch I like).

kids are all crying so I will finish this post later.

Not so Great

So, let me be honest I have not been good with my diet and my weight loss has come to a complete halt. I haven't gained, but certainly I need to be losing and I have everything on my side, breastfeeding, working out, sleeping again. So, I really need to get motivated about eating better. It's the soda! I am totally addicted to Mtn. Dew. I love it, LOVE it. I have quit it many times before, but one taste and I get hooked again. It is a total addiction.

Our family vacation is coming up super fast in June and I am already behind in my goal.

On a positive note, I have been going to the gym and strength training, swimming, and walking and all that is going well.

I really need to lose some weight so I can fit into more clothes. I only have a hand full of outfits right now and most of them are my smaller maternity clothes. I want to be out of the maternity stuff completely and into my bigger sized by the vacation.

I need to get off the soda and back on water to help in the weight loss, and energy. I was feeling so great when I was on ONLY water and it is so hard to get back to that. My mind is so weak, that is what it comes down to. All I can see right now is all the things I need to fix, or work on. I feel like I am so far from where I want to be with myself, in all areas of my life.

Feeling Good

Yesterday was my first day back to the gym. I did weights and then intervals on the treadmill.

Today, I swam for 30 minutes.

I am tired but feel good. I am looking forward to enjoying each day and each workout. I know I will lose the weight but I am going to focus on having great workouts and feeling good because that is most important. I have a while to get back to where I was endurance wise but I know it will come back and hopefully surpass what I could imagine.

Going for a walk with the kids now and going to try and put in 3 miles( about an hour) with a park break.

Scared

I have been gone from the gym so long that I am scared. I realized this today.

My doctor's appointment is Monday and I will push through the fear.

Maybe screaming helps?!

The 1%

Ever wonder who those people are out there that make up the 1% or the.1%?? For example, the pill, effective 99.9%. Who is the .1%????

ME!

Let me just say I'm not to happy about this discovery. My first son was born on the pill, therefore I became part of the .1%. Most recently, I get to enjoy menstruating while breastfeeding. Fun for me. Also, a very low percent of women this happens to.

As I look back in my life there have been other things that happen to me that put me in that group. I guess I just need to embrace it and expect it from here on out.

Out of Shape!

I am out of shape.

Today I did a short body weight workout to see how I would feel and also to see how out of shape I am. What a wake-up call. I am really out of shape. Here is what I did:

2 sets of 15 squats

super set lunges and one-arm dumbbell row 15 reps each arm and leg

super set push ups and crunches 15 reps each

My legs feel like jello, holy moly, I love it though! I am excited to get in the shape of my life.

I took pictures and measurements and I also have a surprise that Jeff bought me to post. I will post that later tonight hopefully. If I get a moment to get back on the computer.

I definitely need the Pilate's for flexibility because I am super stiff. My meals have been awesome, but my snacking has been bad. I Love Easter candy and well, I have been eating way to much of it. I'm still hoping to weigh in this Saturday at 209, a 2 lb loss.

4 weeks

It has been 4 weeks since little Carmen has come to our family and time is flying by. I am feeling pretty good.

Weigh in this morning: 211.6

My goal for next Saturday is to weigh in at 209 or less.

Today I went on a little walk about a mile.

Tomorrow I want to walk the trail, so 1.5 miles.

I am planning on doing at least 30 minutes a day for the next two weeks to build up to my cleared date. Then I won't have such a shock when I am cleared for training at 6 weeks.

My plan is to follow the New Rules of Lifting (original this round), walk 7 days a week, Pilates video at least 3 times a week, and swimming.

Pictures and measurements to come....

Sleep

It is amazing how a little sleep can change everything. Carmen slept great last night and therefore I did too! I have been able to get some laundry done, go grocery shopping, make lunch and dinner, and even get on the computer a little bit.

Carmen is currently sleeping with Daddy, they both needed a nap, and I am enjoying some snuggle time with Micah and computer time. Carmen is 3 weeks old already and I can't believe how fast time is flying by. 2010 is flying by too. It is mid-March already! The weather is changing and getting warmer, yay. My tulips are poking their heads out of the soil. I am so excited for spring and summer.

Noticing how fast the year is already passing by, it makes me realize that everyday is so important if I want to reach my goals. I don't want to waste any time. It's like when I was younger and I realized the value of money, I am realizing the value of a day. Time-once it's gone you can't get it back. What I do with my time is up to me and I can only blame myself if I don't get the most out of it.

When I first got married I started getting up at 5 a.m. at the suggestion of Mary Kay Ash. I was a Mary Kay consultant, reading her biography, and she didn't have the luxury of waisting time. I was inspired by her that I started getting up at 5 a.m., calling it the 5 a.m. club. The house was completely clean by 7 a.m. and I had the rest of the day to do the things I wanted to get done that day. Due to lack of planning I started to get bored and started to wonder why I was getting up at 5 a.m. when I didn't need to. Slowly I started sleeping in and then I completely lost the habit.

Now, I am feeling I need the 5 a.m. club more than ever. There is so much to get done and not enough time in my day. So where do I get the motivation to start this again? I guess it's all in how much I want it.

Mom of 2

Ok, being a Mom of 2 is finally hitting me. I have spent 2 full days by myself and I didn't get anything done, the house is a mess, meals are non-existent, and I didn't get a nap in.

Last Year in my 20's

Yesterday I turned 29. This is the last year in my 20's. I have always wanted my 30's to be the best so I am focusing this next year to achieve goals that I have always wanted and haven't seen success yet. One thing I know for sure is I am going to enjoy the journey and not just focus on the end result like I usually do. I am happy with who I am, I just want to be better. I'm sure I will have down moments but I hope I have more happy times.

Fingers

I have always bitten my nails. I hate this about myself. I have tried many times to quit. It like my weight has been challenging. Recently my nails are looking worse than ever before. I have many that are partials and they are very very short and gross. I am truly embarrassed by them.

I did a google search to get some new ideas to try and I found this web site www.wikihow.com/Stop-biting-your-nails I like a few of the suggestions so I am going to start them today.

1-choose a nail to protect. No matter what do not bite this nail.- I am choosing my ring finger on both hands. I will use an emery board on this finger if something is bothering me and I will keep the nail trimmed and clean.

Once I have this nail down I will choose another, then another, until I have them all protected.

2-Whenever I notice I want to bite my nails I will drink water. This will take out two goals at once. My water intake goal and non-biting.

Amazing

It is amazing what breast feeding is doing to my body! It is pulling everything together much faster than it did with Micah and I am dropping the pounds. I am down to 212 already. I am watching what I am eating and doing good so between the two things I am hoping to be back to my pre-Carmen weight by the end of the 6 week recovery time and then I can get off the extra fat that I had before Carmen.

I feel great. I have a yeast infection around my incision area because it stays to moist, but the doc gave me some medicine for it and once it goes away I should be as good as new. I am limited in what I can do because I still am recovering, but feeling good feels great! I haven't felt good in a long time.

I went for a walk with the kids and my sister-in-law (she is here helping me out, thank goodness) and I was totally out of breath. It is going to be rough getting back into the swing of things. The long walks are put on hold until I get this yeast thing under control.

We are taking a family vacation to Florida in June so my goal is to weigh 186 by June 1st. That is 13 weeks, 2 lbs a week. I'm really hoping to surpass that, but this is achievable.

Hard!

I'm back to the same old thing! I plan, I want, I really want, but in the end I don't do. Today, I was going to start my clean eating diet. Not restricting because I am breast feeding, but cleaning the crap out. Yet tonight I had a Mtn. Dew and pizza for dinner. We were celebrating Jeff getting orders to the base he wanted and the hard work he put in to get them.

Why do I do this? Is it failing to plan? Is it fear? Where is this coming from. I do it to myself. No amount of someone telling me what to do has been able to help me. The thing is, I do this with other things as well, not just the weight loss battle.

So, here is what I am going to do. This week I am going to focus on water intake and cutting out all other liquids, again. Only this focus for this week. If, and I will do it, I succeed this week with this one goal, I will move to another. Maybe this way I won't see the big picture and find success with the small goals.

The journey has begun, I'm ready to blaze my trail, like I have always wanted.

One Journey ends, Another begins

Carmen Elizabeth Perez

This is me the day I went to the hospital to deliver Carmen. My final weight was 239. I gained 41 lbs with this pregnancy. Not to bad. Better than last time for sure! My aches and pains included lower back spasms, hip pain and popping, no energy, no stamina, not sleeping at night, sleeping in the recliner when I do sleep so I can get up to go to the bathroom, emotional, and moody as hell.

Two days ago, I weighed myself and I am already down to 217. I still have swelling and water retention due to the surgery. I am excited to see where my weight settles and get to work on getting it off. I have been eating pretty bad this past recovery week, but I am now focusing on eating good and healthy again. I would love if my weight never settled and just kept coming off. My hope is that with my 6 week recovery I can lose the weight with diet and then double my efforts with exercise once I am cleared.

Friday!

Carmen will be here no later than this Friday February 19, 2010! The date was moved up because I am in serious hip and back pain. When I found out I was having a girl I was very overwhelmed! I get very nervous thinking I will be responsible for someone like me. I know what I was like growing up and I just hope I can be all the things she needs.

Now that it is days away, I am nothing but excited and happy. I have had an overwhelming feeling that she and I will be close and we will share a bond that can not be broken. I'm sure we will have moments because I will be her Mother first and always, but I can't wait to do all the fun girly things I love to do and can't with Micah or Jeff.

I will post pictures and thoughts as soon as I can.

Checking off Goals, and cutting the Fat

A couple things:

1) I know at the beginning of this month I wanted to do Hip Mountain Momma's challenge and do something new each month. I have started recycling and I will continue to do so, but I am not going to worry about doing another goal for Feb or March. I just can't add one more thing to my plate right now. I hope that I can focus on doing my part to treat our Mother Nature better once I have the baby and have better control of my life. (this is the cutting the fat part, I promised myself I wouldn't add anything to my plate and I added this and so I am now cutting it)

2) The debt goal should be attained by mid March.

3) My husband and I have committed to each other that we will no longer eat out except ONCE a paycheck. We ran the numbers and we were basically EATING OUR MONEY. We want to save more and we know that by eating at home we will 1)save more 2) eat better 3) lose weight. All things that fall in line with our goals. YAY

4) Baby girl comes in less than 30 days, 27 to be exact. I have a good feeling that she is strong and healthy, but we won't know until the day she comes. I just hope that she doesn't come early and she stays on with the scheduled C-Section. I feel good most days, but I also take it very easy most days. I do chores around the house, but mostly I am resting. I gained 50 lbs with Micah and with Carmen I have only gained 35. I still have time but I am pretty sure I will not gain 15 lbs in the next 4 weeks. At least lets hope not!

2010 is treating us ok. I hope that it just gets better and better. It is still only the beginning of the year and I have so much hope and goals for the rest of the year.

Education Research

While I lay here and rest most days I have been doing some research on my education goals and I am pretty excited because the credits that I earned with my associates degree will fill in most of my 'generals' for the school I am transferring to. It is going to take a little bit longer to finish than I thought because I haven't taken ANY chemistry and that is a main component of my degree.

Once I start school I will be taking about 15-17 credits a semester and I will be totally busy with school only. I hope I can keep up and get good grades. Going back to school is kind of frightening just because I am out of habit.

AHHHH

Well the Hubs has been out of town for a few days and of course I do my messiest jobs when he is gone and now he is coming home tomorrow and I have to clean it all up and I'm to tired to clean it up and do the regular cleaning in the house. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Why do I always do this??

The Challenge by Hip Mountain Momma

Hip Mountain Momma ( http://hipmountainmamablog.com/ ) has posted a challenge and I accepted. They want people to make an economic change for an entire month, each month, until April in celebration of Earth Day.

How does it work? On January first (or soon after) you will decide on what change you want to make for that month and blog about it. For the entire month you will be conscious of this decision and follow through with what you decided on. Then on Feb. 1 you will write another blog post explaining how the month went with your new green change and also write about what you will change for that month. You will do the same on March 1st and April 1st, then will have one final post on April 22nd listing all the changes you made and the differences it made in your life.

January Goal- I am going to start our family recycling program. I need to get a larger garbage can because most everything we throw away is recyclable. Today I will go out and get a recycle can and order my recycle stickers from the city. This is something I wanted to start this year so why not now, TODAY. Why put it off any longer? We only have today to make a change because yesterday is gone and tomorrow will never come.

You can do it too!- Interested in doing something to make a change? You can still join the challenge and have a chance to win some wonderful green products at the end of it too. Every little thing can help. There are ideas on so many websites.

I can't wait to see how much we can recycle! Hopefully all of it but Micah's diapers.

6 Weeks

I have 6 weeks before Carmen comes and I am starting to get excited/anxious. I am ready for her to come but also I have so much to do to prepare for her arrival. She is growing really well. I think she is going to be bigger than Micah. At my last doctor's appointment I measured 2 cm ahead of schedule, meaning my belly grew 4 cm in 2 weeks! The usual is 1 cm a week. When I lay down to sleep I not only have to get myself comfortable, but then Carmen adjusts and gets comfortable too. Moving around at night is interesting because I'm moving two people.

Jeff and I have decided that we will not have more kids after Carmen, and although I thought I would be sad, I am actually kind of excited to know that I am done. I guess 2 kids is enough for me. We aren't going to make any permanent changes, so the option is still open, but I'm pretty sure we are done after Carmen. I feel extremely lucky to be able to have the two that we have. Micah is so sweet and each day he cracks me up and makes me smile and I am so grateful he came to our family. I can't wait to see Carmen's personality. I'm sure she will be outgoing and a go getter just from how she is in my belly. I can very well see her wanting to be the center of attention all the time.

I am so full of happiness and joy right now. I feel blessed and ready to take on this new year. I don't know what kind of challenges lay ahead of me or my family. I am confident that no matter the curve ball I will be able to make good decisions and rely on Heavenly Father for me to make good choices when challenges present themselves.

I turn 29 in March and I want to have a banging body by 30. So many of my goals and things I do this year will be in preparation for the big 3-0. I'm not afraid to turn 30, I actually think that women look better in their 30's and we all know we are much wiser and that excites me.

Here is to a bright fun filled future.

Water!

So, I am doing pretty good with drinking 100 oz a day of water and some interesting things have happened.

*I have been feeling much better lately
*I have been less hungry/snacky
*I feel great

I checked out a book from the library called Water:for health, for healing, for life by F. Batmanghelidj, M.D. and it is full of great information on why we need so much water everyday and what functions it does on the body. It is helping me to keep my goal too. I can see his point and I'm only half way through the book but I am really enjoying it.

Here are a few facts:

*Water is the main solvent for all foods, vitamins, and minerals. It is used in the breakdown of food into smaller particles and their eventual metabolism and assimilation.

*Water clears toxic waste from all parts of the body and takes it to the liver and kidney for removal.

*Water is the main lubricant in the joint spaces and helps prevent arthritis and back pain.

*Water helps keep the skin smooth and decreases the signs of aging

*Drinking water separates the sensation between thirst and hunger.

*To lose weight water is the best way to go-drink water on time and lose weight. Also, you will not eat excessively when you feel hungry but are in fact only thirsty for water.

*Water integrates mind and body functions. It increases ability to realize goals and purpose.

*Water helps reverse addictive urges, including those for caffeine, alcohol, and some drugs.

I hope this helps you to kick the 'other beverage' and start to drink more water. It is the gift of life. All living things need water.

Fit Club

A while back I talked about making a group for fitness and health at church. Well, another girl at church had the same kind of idea. She called me and asked if I had moved forward with anything yet and I told her no because of the pregnancy. So since I am pregnant right now and my energy is not consistent she took the reins and started the group. Today was the first meeting and it went really great. We weighed in, chatted about our goals (which ranged from losing weight to cooking healthy on a budget, to setting a good example for kids), 2 guys came with their wives and I think we will have a few more husbands coming next week.

I am so excited to see so many people interested and willing to participate. I can't wait until I can join them full force. We talked about doing some races together and other things like that too. It will be fun to have some fitness friends at church.

My goal this week is to get off all liquids except water and to drink 110 oz a day; Half my body weight in ounces. I chose this goal because it will be good for me and Carmen and it will help to cleanse out my system. Also, it will help with my recovery when I have Carmen.

2010

2010 I welcome you with open arms, I am glad that 2009 is over. I hope you bring me more joy than the last year. Here is what I want from my year this year:

1) Finish out the pregnancy and have a healthy baby girl without complications.
2) Make it to Nichole's wedding, since I haven't been able to make it to any of my friend's weddings.
3) Plan and organize a successful move later this year.
4) Plan and commit to my diet and exercise goals to get my bodacious bod.
5) Educate myself and get a Personal Training Certificate
6) Get my ducks in a row so I can get back to College
7) Continue my spiritual progression; doing the Lord's will.
8) Strengthen bond with Jeff

That's all for now. I'm sure each month will bring new challenges and goals. This is the minimum for the year. I will always want more and hopefully I will achieve more. I want my 2010 trail to be HUGE. I this year to be so hot that the fire is still burning far behind me on my trail. This feels like my year. It feels like the beginning of something great. I'm ready and if I'm not ready I will do everything to prepare to be ready.

BRING IT ON BABY!